What next for the Chihuahua?

October 4, 2013 § Leave a comment


20131004-235417.jpgNo vote was taken. The mangy critter was staying. Tigger and I needed to resolve ourselves to deal with the infiltrator. And just before the girl went back to school that fateful fall, we found out that the furry, uninvited guest now known as Fernando, was named after her favorite futbol star. Funny, little did we all know that soon the cute little precious would grow up into a beastie and start tackling us and playing foul with us just for fun. Stinker would have been more appropriate!

Everyone believed Fernando would settle down eventually. But as the weeks passed, NADA changed. His favorite pastimes? Wrestling poor Tigger, who is no spring chicken. And then there was the chase the Chihuahua, pounce and chew on her butt. Nope, this Chico may have been pretty to look at, but the hombre had a fickle streak, and muchos tricks up his sleeves. Que cute, my foot!
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(Looks so innocent! Yeah, right!)

Oh, and hang on to your pantalones, turned out he even liked to eat Cheerios! My Cheerios!! What was this world coming to when even a Chica’s morning ritual “fetching” of the Cheerios was no longer sacred! Ay, Dios!

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Look! Evidence: Hit and run! Call my lawyer!!!

Here comes mucho trouble

September 30, 2013 § Leave a comment


20130930-173930.jpgSo where did I leave off. Oh, yes, two frisky interlopers in the garage. Ole Tigger and I were OK about the little catos so long as they stayed out there. But my gut (which I always listen to and lead my life by) told me there was muchos problemas ahead. And sure enough, after the deworming and “fixing” (not a pretty picture), the catos were ready to “integrate.” Tigger did his best to hiss and growl to tell the Mama we were not muy happy about this. And Mama did find one of the critter a new familia to live with. But a certain fiend got under our girl’s skin and soon was christened Fernando Glynn.

I did not attend (or support) the festivities. We read the contract and found out it was temporary for the girl’s last year of college. Then she would take him. Gracias, Jesus!! How bad could it be, right? Just put up with the new stinky Cato for a year? We could handle it … Or so we thought …

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Maybe it was the look in his eyes that told me, “Ay, caramba, here comes trouble!”

Oh, oh, infiltrators in the Chihuahua’s casa

September 18, 2013 § 1 Comment


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Oh, my friends, I know I have been way too quiet, absent all together, really. I’ll need to catch you all up on a whole lot. But listen to my tale and you’ll not only forgive the Chica, but you’ll understand the whackiness of the twilight zone I’ve been caught in. It all began about a year ago …

I guess you could say I was sleeping on the job that night, but all seemed quiet on the prairie and it was 1:30 am! Way past my bedtime. When apparently, in the dead of night, two infiltrators snuck onto this Chica’s territory. And Mama being a softie, she fell for their sad mewing and big shinning, pitiful eyes. Oh, the poor things (right?!!!!!!) pathetic!!

But before I could say, “uno momento, por favor,” Mama and her accomplices (the kids) where out there on the front walk trying to lure the skittish, frightened and “helpless” little creatures. Aww, they they looked so scrawny. They must be starving. How long had the poor dears been out there all alone?

Ole Tigger and I soon caught on to what was going on just outside the door. OK, so we had gotten to the Alamo stand a little slow and it was already looking bad for the home team. But it WAS late as I said and we were half asleep. Tigger glared fiercely out the window while I started barking trying to shoo the mangy things away from my property, but all I ended up doing was waking Dad up. He came to see what all the ruckus was about so I figured he would take our side and we’d stand our ground together. But he took one look outside, sighed deeply, shook his head in defeat and went back to bed. What?!?!

Whoosh! They captured the first critter. You could say he was the less bright of them two geniuses. Throw a little food out, wave a little twig and GOTCHA! Seriously dude, you fell for that? So much for survival instinct. Off he was whisked into the garage. Hey, maybe it would be OK, so long as they stayed out there and did not infiltrate the casa we could work out some territorial arrangement.

Seeing what happened to his bro, the other pesky critter caught on quick. He scooted into the bushes and stared suspiciously at the humans trying to soothe him and con him out. There were a couple of forays into the open and failed attempts at grabbing the biestie, but the varmit was too slick and fast. However, Mama is nothing if not determined and patient. She just sat out there pretending not to care and playing with the food and the twigs, with an “innocent” looking towel just laying there. I gave up on the barking, both because Dad was threatening to throw a shoe at me and because this was actually becoming an entertaining spectacle, a true showdown if not at high noon.

As I could have told the silly cato, eventually that patience and the Mama won out. On the third pass near arm’s reach, Mama struck out like lightning and houdinied the cat into the towel where the flailing and slashing was soon contained.

Off to the garage went little Cato number two. Mama and her crew set up some rudimentary accommodations — water, food and a litter box. So OK, I thought, as only the approved individuals came back inside and everyone agreed to go to bed. We’d all gather like sensible family members and discuss what to do with the refugees in the mañana. Humph!!! You bet your frijoles we would.

Nobody asked me!

May 21, 2013 § Leave a comment


Are you thinking it has been too quiet on the Chihuahua from western Florida front? Well, amigos, you are right. But actually much has been happening in the last year. It is the Chica that has had a little trouble keeping up. But you’ll soon understand. Allow me to catch you up with my cuento …

You see, there came a new Cato to town. “Que?!?” You say? Well, so did I! But I am getting ahead of myself. Let me tell you the story from way back when all this madness began. My therapist says it will help me “process.” Si, como no! Right?

As you might imagine, were having a great summer. The kids came home from college. We laughed, we played, there was mucho belly rubbing and chihuahua adoration during family movie nights. I was in my glory, soaking it all in and trying to forget that August would ever come around. The familia went on a couple of summer trips to which I was not invited (still working on forgiveness for those) but they came back to me every time and made up for leaving me behind with extra treats and scratchies.

Unfortunately, time does fly when la Chica is having fun and before we knew it we were packing the kids up to go back to college. Can you believe it? Our girl was going to be a senior, our boy a sophomore already!

But just as August came and the unavoidable sadness began to descend upon the household, POW, there came what will forever be known as the Cat-tastrophe of 2012. Stay tuned for more episodes of the tail that would not quit … Ferrrrrrrrrnando.

Happy Father’s Day, to my Papi

June 16, 2012 § 3 Comments


Father's Day tie for a chihuahua's daddyTo the guy who:
Keeps my belly scratches going until mom gets home.

Sneaks me tidbits when he is carving that yummilicious rotisserie chicken.

Lifts me up onto the couch (and eventually his lap) when I give him that pitiful look and no one is watching.

Puts up with me walking all over the bed (and him) in the middle of the night looking for a warm and cozy spot to snuggle into.

I tried to find the perfect gift for the perfect Daddy. I dragged Mama out, far and wide. You know how picky I can be. But alas, nothing seemed to capture just how I feel about you. Nothing would do.

So I enlisted Mama’s help to make you something truly ESPECIAL for you. I picked your (OK one of my favorite) colors. I packed a lot of love into every stitch and bedazzle. Mucho bling for my Papi!

I hope you like it. Now you can be a real knight in “shinning” armor for all to see. And I hope you know how much I love you.

Muchos kisses,

Your little Chica

What’s a Chica got to do …

June 2, 2012 § 2 Comments


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So by now, as in most households suffering from the condition, the empty nest syndrome has been alleviated at casa Chanel. Joy, oh joy, for sure! I was quite loca when my kids came home. First Ryan early in May, with some fabulous back scratching abilities to make up for his absence. He must have taken some new college course in the art of pleasing the Chihuahua, because I am in la-la-heaven. Then Dani, in mid May, always great at lounging and catching up on this season’s TV series which she’d missed during the crazy school/dance schedule. She needs her rest, and I need my long lazy hours of cuddling with her in bed.

But then, way too soon my princess bubble burst. First the familia left me, with some very nice Chica sitters, I must acknowledge, while they all went on a fabulous Western Caribbean cruise. Alright, I admit the necessary quarantine period to join them on the voyage would nave been out of the question for this princess. Pero, DANG!!! They even went to the motherland – Mejico! AND, they were gone for a whole week and didn’t even bring me back one stinkin’ frijol! Que pasa, chicos?

And now they are back, nice and tan, enjoying the summer and spending time with the college kids while many of my walks are falling by the wayside. HELLOOOOOO! I no theeeeek so, mis amigos. I WILL be making myself quite clear. You just wait for announcements on the 6 o’clock newscasts. I must remind them that La Chica is number one ALL the time, not just when we are lonely and missing the kids.

What’s a Chica got to do to get some respect around here.

Spring grooming tips for (from) the Chihuahua

April 29, 2012 § 2 Comments


Ahhh, to spoil the spoiled. That is what life should be about. There is way too much human time spent on work, chores and errands, if you ask me. A better and much more enjoyable spring “cleaning” day in dog-topia would look something like this:

1. Open eyes, pet the Chihuahua’s belly. Gently please, she has just woken up.
2. Rise (only after the Chihuahua cuddle and love morning session has been satisfied) stretch and go prepare a scrumptious breakfast with a side of Cheerios for the Princess. Yes, you are allowed to make your cafecito at this time as well. This promises to be a long day.
3. Short nap. As my Abuela always said, one must wait 20 minutes after eating before going in the water. You run the risk of having a “pa-ta-tu” and dropping dead on the spot. Cuidado, chicos!
4. You might as well take the Princess for an early walk so she won’t get all dirty after her nice bubble bath. Treat should follow as per usual.
5. Run said nice warm bubble bath. Mama always puts a drop of lavender essential oil in mine to soothe the nerves. Gently lower the less than cooperative Chihuahua into the water. She’ll likely (eventually) acquiesce.
6. Have fluffy plush towel ready (preferably warmed in the drier) for when the shivering drippy Chihuahua gets out of the tub (ah, ok, sink).
7. Thoroughly knead the Chica’s fur to a perfect fluff, removing excess water. He/she will still shake, rattle and roll and get you all wet (a little payback is to be expected), but will dry quicker with a little help.
8. Many soothing compliments and a treat for the Precious are in order.
9. Though this part might require a sedative, a trip to the groomer for nail clipping, quickly followed by many more treats to help the Chihuahua forget the traumatic experience, will complete the spring cleaning effort. I would not recommend teeth cleaning at this juncture. You’d be doing so at your own risk.
10. Much praise and love should be showered (figuratively, please) on the “nice, clean, pretty girl.”

Please understand the lack of cooperation in picture taking sessions. Good luck and may the Fuerza be with you!

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