Re-training Mom

As I mentioned, Mom is now freelancing full-time as a graphic artist and web designer. But after years of trying to balance both a job and all the side stuff, she is really having to work at adjust to this new lifestyle. Don’t tell anyone, but she does a lot of walking around talking to herself and asking things like “what was I going to do next?” and “where did I leave my phone?” She is, como se dice, discombobulated. Look it up. I just added her picture on Wikipedia for clarification. But don’t tell her that either.

So ultra perceptive Chica that I am, I figured this was a great opportunity to turn into MY opportunity. You see, Mom has been muy busy for a couple of years trying to build up her business. And well, I don’t feel I have been appropriately pampered in the meantime. Mucho work = muy poco time for the Chica. Ah, it seems like ages, but I still remember the days of pretty dresses and fashion shows, public outings where I signed autographs and visited with my fans. Oh, and the treats! The treats that came so easily just for pure cuteness. I never had to jump through so many hoops, stare so intensely and incessantly at her noggin to get through to her, or come up with ever more clever ways to get a certain distracted someone’s attention as I’ve had to these past year and a half.

But, Chicos, it is a new day, isn’t it. (Bwahahaha!!! Insert villainous laugh here.) And here is how I see it going, de aqui pa’lante:

1. Open eyes = rub my tummy and tell me what a precious princess I am. (Please allow a 1/2 hour minimum)
2. Get up, (yes, you may grab your slippers if you must) then carry me to the kitchen to serve me breakfast first.
3. Cafe, no doubt, but go ahead and start getting my Cheerios ready while you wait. You know I need my fiber to maintain este cuerpo.
4. Lanai time to commune with nature. I get the lap to oversee the operations; cats get the lizards. (Please allow a 1/2 hour minimum)
5. Dishes, email, blah-blah-blah … then mid-morning snack! I can get the catos to help with this one. They are simple-minded, easy to train creatures of habit like my human. I already have them stalking her in the kitchen and tackling her if she does not comply.
6. Mom works, I get nappy time 🙂
7. Lunch time = more snacks for moi. Carrots and oh, I don’t know, maybe nibbles of what ever you are eating. A chica’s work is never done. She did say she wanted to lose a couple of pounds 😉 didn’t she?
8. More cafe, more lap time. Mom needs to learn to pace herself. (Please allow a 1/2 hour minimum)
9. OK, back to work, but first I need to be tenderly propped on my sidekick-ottoman next to her computer chair and appropriately wrapped in my fluffy blanket. From there I conduct my eyes-closed “surveillance” duty, policing any movement along the casa. It is part of my Jedi Chica training. No questions, ask you may.
10. Catos usually get a little pesky sometime around mid-afternoon, so Mom must let them back out to the lanai for more “hunting” practice (like the lizards don’t have it figured out by now). Silly cats. But we all get some fresh air. Que nice.
11. More work, with regular petting of my belly. But by 5:30pm, my belly is too stimulated and starts to demand more attention. Is it dinner time? No? Well, I disagree. Please serve.
12. 5:45, Dad gets home. But he may not realize I have already eaten. (Bwahahaha!!! Insert villainous laugh here too.)
13. Around 6:30 I give them a break so they can eat. But I always offer to help “clean up” 😉
14. Walk time!!!!! Much more on that to come, but suffice it to say that there are always treats after I “do” what I am supposed to “do” outside like a good Chica.
15. 7:30pm, humans getting old now, will settle for DVR shows and a quiet evening =  unlimited lap time until I get carried off to bed.

Not a bad day’s work is it? Let me know if you need any tips on human conditioning training. Always glad to help my amigos.

Advertisement

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas … cha cha cha …

No the empty nest is not back to full happy status, but the Christmas decorations have been going up, and I hear a lot of my favorite names mentioned in conversation! And as of last night, OUR BOY (squeals with delight!) is home from college. Mama says he gets a nice long break from school — a whole month, I hear. Not that I have any particular notion of what a “month” means in human terms. All I know is that when my peeps “GO” somewhere — whether it is the kids going away to college, or Mama with her “I’m just going to work. Be right back!” — it seems like forever in this dog’s years!

Happiness is ...

So I get more than a little excited when they come home. There are mucho Chihuahua screamings, wiggles, fainting spells, convulsive rollovers, cucaracha kicks in the air and berzerk dashings through the house. La Chica can put on quite a show! All of course, with class and style 😉 And Mama gets a big kick of how wacky I get when the kids come home. Here is one of my finest meltdowns, captured by Mama. I don’t need to ask Santa for anything special this Christmas. My presents are coming home on their own! All I want for Christmaaaaaaaassss … is youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Let the bellyrubs begin! Ho, ho, ho!!

My Chihuahua Papi eeeez muy handsome!

My Papi, el handsome Señor Coco who is also destined for stardom, recently made an appearance in South Florida and was immediately spotted in the crowd and invited to model at an event. He didn’t even have to bat those pretty eyes of his. He eeeeeez just that irrrrrrresistible! It is in the gene poolz, you know 😉

So you are surely asking yourselves, “and where was the Chica then?” Well, this all happened during Mama’s last escapade to Boca Raton and Jupiter. Yes, chicos I was left behind (again!!!) while the humans went to visit our boy at college. MY boy!!! My favorite belly scratcher who is so far away and whom I miss so mucho. GRRRRRRrrrrrrrr

Anyhow, Papi tells me that the humans were having themselves a grand ole time down there — college football game, breakfast at a lovely little french bistro, shopping with the college boy.  Hrmph! Then on the last day, they decided to go to lunch at the chic Palm Beach City Place only to run into a street fair … for puppies! SEEeeee, they should have taken me along.

Anyhow, they found a cafe with sidewalk seating and settled down to dog/people watch, ooooh’ing and ahhhh’ing over the cute critters parading in their finest. My handsome Papi was on his best behavior at the cafe (that part is apparently not in the gene poolz because I am a muy excitable Chica!) when one of the event coordinators approached the table and asked if Papi would participate in the fashion show that afternoon. In his muy demure manner he consented and his human fans, new and old, were treated to an unforgettable show of elegance and finesse. Hello, Hollywood?!?!?!

I stole Mama’s phone and found some snapshots. Enjoy:

This slideshow requires JavaScript.