Re-training Mom

April 25, 2014 § Leave a comment


image

As I mentioned, Mom is now freelancing full-time as a graphic artist and web designer. But after years of trying to balance both a job and all the side stuff, she is really having to work at adjust to this new lifestyle. Don’t tell anyone, but she does a lot of walking around talking to herself and asking things like “what was I going to do next?” and “where did I leave my phone?” She is, como se dice, discombobulated. Look it up. I just added her picture on Wikipedia for clarification. But don’t tell her that either.

So ultra perceptive Chica that I am, I figured this was a great opportunity to turn into MY opportunity. You see, Mom has been muy busy for a couple of years trying to build up her business. And well, I don’t feel I have been appropriately pampered in the meantime. Mucho work = muy poco time for the Chica. Ah, it seems like ages, but I still remember the days of pretty dresses and fashion shows, public outings where I signed autographs and visited with my fans. Oh, and the treats! The treats that came so easily just for pure cuteness. I never had to jump through so many hoops, stare so intensely and incessantly at her noggin to get through to her, or come up with ever more clever ways to get a certain distracted someone’s attention as I’ve had to these past year and a half.

But, Chicos, it is a new day, isn’t it. (Bwahahaha!!! Insert villainous laugh here.) And here is how I see it going, de aqui pa’lante:

  1. Open eyes = rub my tummy and tell me what a precious princess I am. (Please allow a 1/2 hour minimum)
  2. Get up, (yes, you may grab your slippers if you must) then carry me to the kitchen to serve me breakfast first.
  3. Cafe, no doubt, but go ahead and start getting my Cheerios ready while you wait. You know I need my fiber to maintain este cuerpo.
  4. Lanai time to commune with nature. I get the lap to oversee the operations; cats get the lizards. (Please allow a 1/2 hour minimum)
  5. Dishes, email, blah-blah-blah … then mid-morning snack! I can get the catos to help with this one. They are simple-minded, easy to train creatures of habit like my human. I already have them stalking her in the kitchen and tackling her if she does not comply.
  6. Mom works, I get nappy time 🙂
  7. Lunch time = more snacks for moi. Carrots and oh, I don’t know, maybe nibbles of what ever you are eating. A chica’s work is never done. She did say she wanted to lose a couple of pounds 😉 didn’t she?
  8. More cafe, more lap time. Mom needs to learn to pace herself. (Please allow a 1/2 hour minimum)
  9. OK, back to work, but first I need to be tenderly propped on my sidekick-ottoman next to her computer chair and appropriately wrapped in my fluffy blanket. From there I conduct my eyes-closed “surveillance” duty, policing any movement along the casa. It is part of my Jedi Chica training. No questions, ask you may.
  10. Catos usually get a little pesky sometime around mid-afternoon, so Mom must let them back out to the lanai for more “hunting” practice (like the lizards don’t have it figured out by now). Silly cats. But we all get some fresh air. Que nice.
  11. More work, with regular petting of my belly. But by 5:30pm, my belly is too stimulated and starts to demand more attention. Is it dinner time? No? Well, I disagree. Please serve.
  12. 5:45, Dad gets home. But he may not realize I have already eaten. (Bwahahaha!!! Insert villainous laugh here too.)
  13. Around 6:30 I give them a break so they can eat. But I always offer to help “clean up” 😉
  14. Walk time!!!!! Much more on that to come, but suffice it to say that there are always treats after I “do” what I am supposed to “do” outside like a good Chica.
  15. 7:30pm, humans getting old now, will settle for DVR shows and a quiet evening =  unlimited lap time until I get carried off to bed.

Not a bad day’s work is it? Let me know if you need any tips on human conditioning training. Always glad to help my amigos.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas … cha cha cha …

December 10, 2011 § Leave a comment


No the empty nest is not back to full happy status, but the Christmas decorations have been going up, and I hear a lot of my favorite names mentioned in conversation! And as of last night, OUR BOY (squeals with delight!) is home from college. Mama says he gets a nice long break from school — a whole month, I hear. Not that I have any particular notion of what a “month” means in human terms. All I know is that when my peeps “GO” somewhere — whether it is the kids going away to college, or Mama with her “I’m just going to work. Be right back!” — it seems like forever in this dog’s years!

Happiness is ...

So I get more than a little excited when they come home. There are mucho Chihuahua screamings, wiggles, fainting spells, convulsive rollovers, cucaracha kicks in the air and berzerk dashings through the house. La Chica can put on quite a show! All of course, with class and style 😉 And Mama gets a big kick of how wacky I get when the kids come home. Here is one of my finest meltdowns, captured by Mama. I don’t need to ask Santa for anything special this Christmas. My presents are coming home on their own! All I want for Christmaaaaaaaassss … is youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Let the bellyrubs begin! Ho, ho, ho!!

My Chihuahua Papi eeeez muy handsome!

November 15, 2011 § 2 Comments


My Papi, el handsome Señor Coco who is also destined for stardom, recently made an appearance in South Florida and was immediately spotted in the crowd and invited to model at an event. He didn’t even have to bat those pretty eyes of his. He eeeeeez just that irrrrrrresistible! It is in the gene poolz, you know 😉

So you are surely asking yourselves, “and where was the Chica then?” Well, this all happened during Mama’s last escapade to Boca Raton and Jupiter. Yes, chicos I was left behind (again!!!) while the humans went to visit our boy at college. MY boy!!! My favorite belly scratcher who is so far away and whom I miss so mucho. GRRRRRRrrrrrrrr

Anyhow, Papi tells me that the humans were having themselves a grand ole time down there — college football game, breakfast at a lovely little french bistro, shopping with the college boy.  Hrmph! Then on the last day, they decided to go to lunch at the chic Palm Beach City Place only to run into a street fair … for puppies! SEEeeee, they should have taken me along.

Anyhow, they found a cafe with sidewalk seating and settled down to dog/people watch, ooooh’ing and ahhhh’ing over the cute critters parading in their finest. My handsome Papi was on his best behavior at the cafe (that part is apparently not in the gene poolz because I am a muy excitable Chica!) when one of the event coordinators approached the table and asked if Papi would participate in the fashion show that afternoon. In his muy demure manner he consented and his human fans, new and old, were treated to an unforgettable show of elegance and finesse. Hello, Hollywood?!?!?!

I stole Mama’s phone and found some snapshots. Enjoy:

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La Chihuahua and the empty nesters

July 23, 2011 § 5 Comments


Chanel the chihuahua just full of chihuahua wisdom

The way I see it.

Big things are afoot at mi casa. Mom and the kids have been going in and out a lot. The bags and boxes are piling up all around us. Remind me to file a complaint – Tigger has waaaaay too many new perches from which to pounce on me now. But seriously, I was worried for a while. I didn’t know what all of it meant. And you know the Chica has to be in the know!! I have a nervous disposition.

And the big humans started talking about an “empty nest.” What is that? I like our nest because it is NOT empty. It is just right!

Then, under cover of dark, el Cato and I started investigating (OK, so we were peeking and snooping) into these unopened packages. We started putting two and two together …

a “printer” (Strange contraptions, those. One can be casually walking past and Bam! They start to spit papers out.) …

a small TV (But we already have one, don’t we?) …

a microwave …

Oh, oh! I think we’ve figured it out! I suddenly remembered the first time this happened when our girl, the oldest, started collecting stuff for her new “place.” Not that there was anything wrong with her room right here at home. I love hanging out in there with her. Yet, it seemed like fun stuff at first – new obstacles to run around and climb over. Ha, ha, ha … WooHoo!! But then they took her off to college. The boxes went away and she was gone for soooooo long. No more fun 😦

So now you’re telling me that both of the kids are going to go off to college! Our boy, the best belly scratcher in the place, is going away too?!?!?!? No one asked ME for permission! Someone call the authorities! I definitely NO likey!

Hrmph … they have not heard the last of me on this!!!

Easter morning with the chihuahua

April 24, 2011 § 1 Comment


Mama woke up this morning saying, “Easter is not as much fun now that the kids are all grown up! Sigh …” So while she went to make coffee and some breakfast, I went off quietly to make an Easter something hunt just for her 🙂 I can be sneaky that way.

*  *  *

And later that morning …

Oh, Mamaaaa … You getting up? Where are your slippers? They were just there? Hmmmm … 😉 No, I don’t have any idea how they ended up in that planter.

Hmmm, where DID you leave that book you were reading?  What? Under the bed? Now, how did that happen?

Your reading glasses? Geez, I have no … Oooops, imagine that. In my bowl. Go figure!

What’s that? You can’t find the TV remote?  Let’s see … wait, what is that sticking out from under the couch? Goodness me.

Heh, heh, nooooo, I haven’t seen the cat in a while either.  Do I hear some muffled sounds coming from the hamper? Ahhh, maybe …

Oh, and the Cheerios? (Looking at her with a straight face 🙂 as she walks towards me.) You are getting hotter … now hotter … really HOT!  Ahhh … (burp!) … yup, they are in my belly! Scratchy, scratchy, please 🙂

* * *

Later, after a good long snuggle session with all favorite peeps …

I’m thinking, nope, that Easter bunny is not the only one that knows how to have fun with the humans. Happy Easter!!

Sweet tip for this Valentine’s Day? Chihuahua a la mode!

February 11, 2011 § Leave a comment


I’m still counting down to the big day!! How about you? Thinking of the perfect Valentine’s Day expression of love? Well, my dear Chicos, don’t skip the diamonds, the fancy French cuisine or the champagne! No self-respecting diva would suggest giving up such pleasures in life!! But to finish up a proper Valentine with flair, may I suggest

Chanely a la mode

Take one more that willing Chihuahua

Put favorite human — object of affection, main squeeze, in my case, the Mama — on the couch

Set shivering Chihuahua on lap, especially if it is a chilly evening

Warm the belly of said Chihuahua to a delightfully yummy temperature

Note that as the belly warms, the cool smooth top coat will cool

And voilà, you have Chihuahua a la Mode! Dig in for some deliciously warm belly rubs, perfectly balanced by chilled and crispy backside scratches. Finger licks will surely follow 😉
Best part: 0 calories, no trans fats, but loaded with MUCHO love!

Happy Valentine from Chanel the Chihuahua

New Year’s resolutions for the Chihuahua diva

December 30, 2010 § 1 Comment


Chanel the Chihuahua

Ready for more fiesta, amigos?

Not long after the beautiful Christmas dinner and festivities and here my humans are already worrying about the new year and “resolutions.” Personally, I could do with a little more lazing about, holiday leftover feasts and the lovely nappings that soon follow. But perhaps there is something to this custom that I should explore. I’d keep mine simple. It would make is more likely that I stick to them. Besides I’d hate to over exert my delicate nature.

I could start with “take better care of myself.” That seems to be a popular theme. But who are we kidding. I’m perfectly adorable just as I am.

So maybe I could watch what I eat and mind my figure. Then again, I’d rather just watch what everyone else eats. It would be much more fun and I’d be helping my beloved humans out with their good intentions. Wink, wink.

Perhaps I could work on my interpersonal skills. OK, OK, so I already have my humans under my control. But there are always the dog sitters, visitors and friends to charm into more adoring fans. A Chica can never have enough of those.

I could make it a point to be nicer to my neighbors. Well, maybe most of my neighbors, but I draw the line at the dang squirrels. The guy next door just had his tree trimmed and now we have a bunch of displaced critters wreaking havoc in the front yard and scrambling over the roof disturbing my beauty sleep. I no happy with that!

Maybe I’ll should focus on daily meditations and relaxations. After all a relaxed Chihuahua is a much more agreeable Chica — less crankiness and grrrrrings. Oh, wait, I might have this covered with my six daily naps. Let’s see,  I already have:

  • The after-I-wake-Mama-up-in-the-morning-but-before-she-can-drag-her-carcass-out-of-bed nap – This little nappy also qualifies as special cuddling time. Mom is in a weakened state and is helpless against my cuteness and my wiles.
  • The after breakfast nap – after our Cheerios fetching session and all that cuteness and adorableness, I must rest and compose myself.
  • The before lunch snack nap – once I’ve turned over from my after breakfast nap, scratched a little behind my ears and batted my lustrous eyes at the sunshine.
  • After lunchtime snack nap – Dad says I’m a pest while he makes his turkey sandwich. I say it was in the fine print and I get snacks when he eats. But turkey does make me sleepy.
  • The tummy-full-from-din-din nap – This one helps with the digestion. And besides, Mama is tired from work and likes to lounge on the couch so I can’t resist a snooze on her lap.
  • And the during-the-evening-news nap – I must rest before having to arrange all the blankets just right so Mama and I can turn in for the evening. It is a lot of strenuous effort, you know.

Hmmm … I’m not making much progress here. Perhaps I’ll just insinuate myself into some of my human’s resolutions — extra exercise (walks!) and  more quality family time (belly scratches!!) — and call it a year.

OK, now it is party time, chicos!! I’m ready to start a Happy New Year conga line!!

Chanel the Chihuahua

... and muchos keeeesses!

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