Chihuahua Contributions to Nature (rated G)

March 15, 2012 § Leave a comment


No, my Mama has not lost her senses (not entirely) with that headline. Even she will admit not everything I do on our afternoon walks is adorable. But this little contribution on my part to help the birds and the bees in their spring effort is worth sharing here.

As you all know, we have had an unusual spring season, even for Florida. More of a Wintring. And the confused oak trees are pollinating early and como loco ’round the hood. I assure you, with my height “advantage” I’m the perfect authority to report on the phenomenon. There are record HEAPS of pollen collecting on the ground. Weeeeee! (runs around and breaks into song: “The street gutters are aliveeeeeee, with the mounds of pohhhhh-llennnnnn … La, la, la laaaaaa!”)

But while I’m having fun frolicking through the fluffy yellow mess, it’s not so much fun for my poor human. Let’s just say those are not just doggy ____ bags in Mama’s pocket when we go out these days. (Insider trade tip: Buy stock in Kleenex and/or Puff tissues!!) Muchos tissues EVERYWHERE for Mama. She is a sneezing menace when we take our walks. No matter what expert stealth techniques I try to use, and I have many, I can’t even sneak up on a stupid squirrel – they hear us coming a mile away.

As for La Chica, no adverse allergy effects to report. The pollen and the sneezing just seems to make me giddy. So here is a little film clip to cheer Mama and all the allergy sufferers out there. I like to title it: Viva la Spring Loca! (Subtitle: Spreading the love and the pollen all over tha’ place and the couch. Ole!)

Pollen giddy Chihuahua

Springy chihuahua days

March 12, 2012 § Leave a comment


Spring has to be one of my favorite seasons. We can finally ditch those awful itchy sweaters Mama thinks I look so “cute” in! (grrrrrrrrrrr) I’m a true beauty. I prefer to go au naturale 😉

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“The Beauty 😉 and the Beach”

Mama has a renewed spring in her Spring steps which means more walks para la Chica. There is extra pollen for the natural spring cleaning (of the nostrils … achoo!!!) The birds and the bees and all the pesky lizards are out and about so I’m exercising my dulcet tones and springing into chihuahua pounce action “for fitness.”

Spring veggies, spring clovers, spring chicken (OK, so I’m interpreting with my tummy’s interests I mind. But I looooooove cheeeeeeekin!) What’s there not to like about SPRING. Get out there chicos, and enjoy. I say losing one hour of sleep is no problema. The extra vitamin E will charge you up. Arriba, arriba, vamonos!

A Valentine with Chihuahua style

February 11, 2012 § 1 Comment


Love is in the air! Everything is rosy. And my mug is on a Valentine’s day greeting you can share with your friends on Facebook or Pinterest. If you haven’t seen it on my Facebook page, (ahem … Hint, hint, I am a very friendly Chica. You should look me up!) check it out:

Valentine InstaLOVEgrams

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These are easy to share. Just click on the link or Valentine image you like, and a greeting will pop up that you can share on your Facebook timeline or to a friend’s wall. Heh, heh, heh, it’s guaranteed hours of fun for girls and boys of all ages ;0-)

So arriba, arriba, and keeeeess, keeeess, chicos!

Chihuahua temptations threaten

February 8, 2012 § Leave a comment


What would you do? I am just soooooooo tempted sometimes! Are these tests in my life meant to break my resolve to be a good girl? Because Mama always tells me to “be good” right before she leaves for work. And I do have the best of intentions. But, ay caramba, there is only so much willpower packed into a little Chica!

First there is Dad, who has been slipping lately, even after Mama warned him about closing the drawer to his nightstand. You see, that is where he keeps his earplugs. They look a lot like my little carrots. And well, let’s just say I’ve been known to snarf those puppies right up. No questions asked.

Pops is also a little careless leaving the TV trays ever so close to my couch, especially when he comes home for a quick lunch and then has to rush off. I know I’m not supposed to climb onto the tables. Mama explained that quite clearly (in Spanish and English) the last time Dad left the chair pulled out from the dining room table after a big dinner with friends. Imagine my surprise when Mama came back into the room to get her drink. Ooops! Can you say, “stop, drop and freeze” and turn on the bambi eyes RIGHT away?!?

Oh and the best one came just the other day, when Mama herself left the pantry door just slightly open. Wh-wha-what?!?! The Cheerios box is within reach on the lower shelf. Are you crazy woman?!?! I may look dainty and delicate, but I assure you I could shred that big yellow box like a piñata in two seconds flat!!

I’m starting to get paranoid thinking she’s got some hidden camera just waiting to catch me. Pray for me, Chicos! The “higher ground” is a lofty goal for a short Chihuahua.

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This Chihuahua is getting in line for a canine massage

February 4, 2012 § 1 Comment


Chanel the chuhuahua is full of chihuahua wisdomI have found love: Spartacus Brownie Von Lickety Jones Jr.

OK, so I have been in love before. I am admittedly a little A.D.D. And to complicate matters I am a diva princess and just entitled to mood swings. It is in the fine print. But seriously, Señor Spartacus has captured my heart with his poetic letter to his Mama. From the very start, I knew we were kindred spirits. Read for yourselves:

“Dear Mom,

You think it’s easy dozing most of the day, begging for biscuits, nipping at your heels, and barking at squirrels?

Okay, it is …”

The simple joy in his expressions. The careless tone of his truths. The fluidly woven tale, leading his Mama and the reader right to the point: GET IT, WANT IT NOW!!  Need I say more? Well, whether or not I need to, I will. Simply to point out to all my chicos and one specific Mama that we must look into this recommendation of his on the dailycandy.com:

Buddha Dog’s Canine Masseuse Shows Us the Proper Technique

Ahh … the kneading … the skin rolling … stretching my little legs … in between my toes … just so, behind and to the tips of my bat ears … ahhhhhhhhhhhh ….

Dog Massage video clip on DailyCandy.com

OMG, la Chica is melting at the thought. Mama, get busy learning these techniques. If I can’t get to Cali anytime soon, I WANT THIS ANYWAY. Apparently these are also good for the human doing the dog massaging. Not that it would be a requirement, but I am into bonuses 😉 and I’m always looking out for your well-being.

And as for you, my Romeo-Sparticus, ‘Til we meet someday …”

Oh, sure! Thank you very much, Señor Volkswagen!

February 2, 2012 § 1 Comment


Quick! I need some ayuda, chicos!! I have to come up with some seriously effective diversion tactics during Sunday’s Superbowl, and PRONTO! Mama is not really following either of the teams playing, but she is planning to watch the game “for the commercials” while keeping her iPad handy with a good book in case the game gets boring.

But I just saw the Volkswagen followup commercial to the one of the cute “Vader kid with the force” and I might just have an Empire-sized problem here. This slightly chubby Chica is in mucho trouble if my humans see the “dog fitness” program in that ad!

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I AM on a new fitness program, all naps aside. And I don’t mind the fetching and the running notion. That can be fun. But the giant ball yoga, the swimming and God forbid, not being able to snack on the little somethings that drop on the kitchen floor?!?! Are you crrrraaazzie?

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Hurry, amigos! Send help. I only have 4 days to come up with an arsenal of ingenious distractions to make sure Mama won’t see this and get any ideas 😮

The Chihuahua wonders never cease

January 31, 2012 § 1 Comment


Mama often wonders, “if a Cheerio falls in the forest, will the Chihuahua hear it.” Of course I know this because as I’ve explained, I can read her mind.

Oh, my dear Mama, the answer is quite simple, really, even for human comprehension. Of course I do with my keen ultrasonic hearing, the latest and greatest in technology provided by nature. Move over, sharkies, there is a new highly developed, exceptionally equipped and capable species on this planet, and I’m here to stay!

It is with that same technology that I know if an intruder even thinks of coming close to Casa Chanel uninvited. Not one cucaracha dare defy me!

It is how I know when and where every food particle lands in my territory (kitchen.) That coupled with my keen olfactory talents and my better-than-any-overblown-elephant’s memory is why I always know when there is a runaway Cheerio under the couch.

But more importantly, my amazing hearing is how I can detect the slightest disruption the very second your heart skips a beat because you are sad and missing the kids. After all, that is my ultimate purpose in life, to be here for you when you need love, always.

Now don’t argue! I know you may not remember, but you will move the couch because I am never wrong about my Cheerios. And I am also always hungry!

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