Mama says the Chihuahua is a little “pushy”? I don’t beg, but I do differ!!

February 21, 2012 § 5 Comments


Chanel the ChihuahuaWisdom Diva "talks"Moi? Oh, no-no-no, Chica! “Assertive” or maybe “naturally confident” would be a fairer description. If you check my contract (ahem, again), you’ll see my “entitlements” clearly listed – Princess in residence will have her way. But let’s be reasonable. Think of it. This little noggin can only hold sooooo much greatness. I must express my amazing mind. It is never good to staunch the gift of a creative genius or hold one’s feelings inside. (Isn’t that the point of this blog?)

So, Mama, don’t judge. Simply accept the little gift that is ME. To make it easier for you to understand my “terms,” let us review un poco:

  • one short loud bark = “Hello?!?!?! Pay attention, please.”
  • whine, whine = “Walk time, NOW!”
  • whine, bark = “Treat? Or to be more precise: TREAT!!”
  • yip, yip, stamping of feet = “Sit down, woman. It is lap time.”
  • snort, snort, hrmph = “OK, OK. The Cato can sit on your lap too.”
  • whine, whine, grrrrrrrrrrrr… = “Time for bed already, chica. Let’s go!”
  • whine, whine, push push = “I’m going under the blanket NOW so move over.”

You see? I DO make myself quite clear, Mama. You listen, life is peachy. I am not pushy, I am a Chihuahua — short, sweet and to the point!

It’s getting a little too close ’round here for chihuahua comfort

February 15, 2012 § Leave a comment


Between the Christmas iPad and Mom’s new gift subscription to a certain dog magazine, I’m losing more and more precious lap time. And let me clarify, oh dear Mama, I don’t want just a little bit of space and time on your lap. This Chica, (nay, your Princess!!) is entitled to much more!

It is distressing enough to hear you call the iPad “your baby.” (Yes, I heard you!! And we’ll talk about that another time. Hrmph!) And I realize that el Cato was here before the Chica came in to complete your universe so I must share with him. But seriously, we are reaching critical mass here!

I know I’m small, but the Mama must admit that she is not all that tall herself. Not to get ugly, let’s just say the kids got their long limbs from Dad. So we are talking precious real estate.

So these new intrusions, fascinating as they may be to you, are seriously disturbing the carefully designed and balanced ecosystem we had going here for me. Let me explain:

Mama’s lap = My belly, all nice and warm = One content chihuahua = A happy and relaxed Mama

You see? It is like the circle of life (cue the Disney soundtrack with the deep Lion King drums rumbling their thundering proclamation that all of nature is in balance.) And admit it, there is no more perfect confirmation that the world is as it should be than one of my luxurious stretches after a long lap nap — when I reach out in all directions with my toes, yawn as wide as my jaw will allow, and then turn my head up to look at you and sigh in absolute contentment. It IS what makes the world go round.

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So stop crowding me out, Mama. The lap is mine! ‘nough said!!

Thought for the day: Chihuahua warmers, PLEASE!

February 13, 2012 § 1 Comment


So if they can make little hand warmers that you can stick in humans’ gloves, could someone please get busy coming up with Chihuahua posterior warmers? I’m sure I’m not the only Chihuahua that lives in a house with tile floors. And when the thermometer plunges like it did yesterday here in Florida … Ay, Caramba (plus a few other choice words)! Let’s jut say I’m not getting out of bed TODAY!! You try it, chicos!

The Snuggy that Mom got me kinda works keeping me warmer, heinous as it may be. But it does nothing for my tender, well, um … butt.

I can picture pretty little pantaloons with a stylish little pocket on the backside to put the warmers in to keep my rear warm. I could even see a line for every occasion — sporty ones for walks around the neighborhood, stretchy ones to make your bum appear slim and trim, designer chic ones for social gatherings with blingy accents!

Here’s a template for any wise, enterprising designers looking to make mucho money. I tell you there is a huge population of cold Chihuahua rears out there just waiting. Remember, this is all in the name of World peace — a cold Chihuahua is a cranky Chihuahua.

A Valentine with Chihuahua style

February 11, 2012 § 1 Comment


Love is in the air! Everything is rosy. And my mug is on a Valentine’s day greeting you can share with your friends on Facebook or Pinterest. If you haven’t seen it on my Facebook page, (ahem … Hint, hint, I am a very friendly Chica. You should look me up!) check it out:

Valentine InstaLOVEgrams

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These are easy to share. Just click on the link or Valentine image you like, and a greeting will pop up that you can share on your Facebook timeline or to a friend’s wall. Heh, heh, heh, it’s guaranteed hours of fun for girls and boys of all ages ;0-)

So arriba, arriba, and keeeeess, keeeess, chicos!

Chihuahua temptations threaten

February 8, 2012 § Leave a comment


What would you do? I am just soooooooo tempted sometimes! Are these tests in my life meant to break my resolve to be a good girl? Because Mama always tells me to “be good” right before she leaves for work. And I do have the best of intentions. But, ay caramba, there is only so much willpower packed into a little Chica!

First there is Dad, who has been slipping lately, even after Mama warned him about closing the drawer to his nightstand. You see, that is where he keeps his earplugs. They look a lot like my little carrots. And well, let’s just say I’ve been known to snarf those puppies right up. No questions asked.

Pops is also a little careless leaving the TV trays ever so close to my couch, especially when he comes home for a quick lunch and then has to rush off. I know I’m not supposed to climb onto the tables. Mama explained that quite clearly (in Spanish and English) the last time Dad left the chair pulled out from the dining room table after a big dinner with friends. Imagine my surprise when Mama came back into the room to get her drink. Ooops! Can you say, “stop, drop and freeze” and turn on the bambi eyes RIGHT away?!?

Oh and the best one came just the other day, when Mama herself left the pantry door just slightly open. Wh-wha-what?!?! The Cheerios box is within reach on the lower shelf. Are you crazy woman?!?! I may look dainty and delicate, but I assure you I could shred that big yellow box like a piñata in two seconds flat!!

I’m starting to get paranoid thinking she’s got some hidden camera just waiting to catch me. Pray for me, Chicos! The “higher ground” is a lofty goal for a short Chihuahua.

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This Chihuahua is getting in line for a canine massage

February 4, 2012 § 1 Comment


Chanel the chuhuahua is full of chihuahua wisdomI have found love: Spartacus Brownie Von Lickety Jones Jr.

OK, so I have been in love before. I am admittedly a little A.D.D. And to complicate matters I am a diva princess and just entitled to mood swings. It is in the fine print. But seriously, Señor Spartacus has captured my heart with his poetic letter to his Mama. From the very start, I knew we were kindred spirits. Read for yourselves:

“Dear Mom,

You think it’s easy dozing most of the day, begging for biscuits, nipping at your heels, and barking at squirrels?

Okay, it is …”

The simple joy in his expressions. The careless tone of his truths. The fluidly woven tale, leading his Mama and the reader right to the point: GET IT, WANT IT NOW!!  Need I say more? Well, whether or not I need to, I will. Simply to point out to all my chicos and one specific Mama that we must look into this recommendation of his on the dailycandy.com:

Buddha Dog’s Canine Masseuse Shows Us the Proper Technique

Ahh … the kneading … the skin rolling … stretching my little legs … in between my toes … just so, behind and to the tips of my bat ears … ahhhhhhhhhhhh ….

Dog Massage video clip on DailyCandy.com

OMG, la Chica is melting at the thought. Mama, get busy learning these techniques. If I can’t get to Cali anytime soon, I WANT THIS ANYWAY. Apparently these are also good for the human doing the dog massaging. Not that it would be a requirement, but I am into bonuses 😉 and I’m always looking out for your well-being.

And as for you, my Romeo-Sparticus, ‘Til we meet someday …”

Oh, sure! Thank you very much, Señor Volkswagen!

February 2, 2012 § 1 Comment


Quick! I need some ayuda, chicos!! I have to come up with some seriously effective diversion tactics during Sunday’s Superbowl, and PRONTO! Mama is not really following either of the teams playing, but she is planning to watch the game “for the commercials” while keeping her iPad handy with a good book in case the game gets boring.

But I just saw the Volkswagen followup commercial to the one of the cute “Vader kid with the force” and I might just have an Empire-sized problem here. This slightly chubby Chica is in mucho trouble if my humans see the “dog fitness” program in that ad!

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I AM on a new fitness program, all naps aside. And I don’t mind the fetching and the running notion. That can be fun. But the giant ball yoga, the swimming and God forbid, not being able to snack on the little somethings that drop on the kitchen floor?!?! Are you crrrraaazzie?

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Hurry, amigos! Send help. I only have 4 days to come up with an arsenal of ingenious distractions to make sure Mama won’t see this and get any ideas 😮

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