What’s a Chica got to do …

June 2, 2012 § 2 Comments


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So by now, as in most households suffering from the condition, the empty nest syndrome has been alleviated at casa Chanel. Joy, oh joy, for sure! I was quite loca when my kids came home. First Ryan early in May, with some fabulous back scratching abilities to make up for his absence. He must have taken some new college course in the art of pleasing the Chihuahua, because I am in la-la-heaven. Then Dani, in mid May, always great at lounging and catching up on this season’s TV series which she’d missed during the crazy school/dance schedule. She needs her rest, and I need my long lazy hours of cuddling with her in bed.

But then, way too soon my princess bubble burst. First the familia left me, with some very nice Chica sitters, I must acknowledge, while they all went on a fabulous Western Caribbean cruise. Alright, I admit the necessary quarantine period to join them on the voyage would nave been out of the question for this princess. Pero, DANG!!! They even went to the motherland – Mejico! AND, they were gone for a whole week and didn’t even bring me back one stinkin’ frijol! Que pasa, chicos?

And now they are back, nice and tan, enjoying the summer and spending time with the college kids while many of my walks are falling by the wayside. HELLOOOOOO! I no theeeeek so, mis amigos. I WILL be making myself quite clear. You just wait for announcements on the 6 o’clock newscasts. I must remind them that La Chica is number one ALL the time, not just when we are lonely and missing the kids.

What’s a Chica got to do to get some respect around here.

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Chihuahua skips a beat

April 25, 2012 § 1 Comment


Well it had to happen. I don’t know if this had anything to do with the doomsday 2012 predictions of the Mayan Calendar. Maybe this is what they were referring to as the “end of the world.” But finally (dramatic pause … ), the Chica – your reason to log onto the internet, the light of your life, the spring in your step, your icon of all that is beautiful and desirable – has had her “less than photogenic” day. And of course, the paparazzi (Mama) was there to capture the inglorious moment. So go ahead, have your giggle:

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You done yet? Go ahead. Enjoy the moment.

Hey, it keeps me humble. Balances the chi, the spiritual laws of fairness, and the karma. God knows I don’t want to come back any smaller next time in the food chain! From Cleopatra to Chihuahua, precious though I might be, I think I have some stuff to work out with the universe while I’m here.

And who knows. I’ve heard say that we “learn” from every experience in our lives. That everything is as intended and for our ultimate growth and greater good. So I’m going with that. After all, I am still making you smile today. It IS all good.

Chihuahuas may be creatures of habit, but this lizard is an idiot

March 19, 2012 § 1 Comment


This week during my afternoon walks, while I performed my regular neighborhood inspection as big-kahuna-head-honcho-brava-sherrif in the barrio, I noticed a particular lawn ornament with a little something extra. I notice everything, of course, keen observer that I am. So after about the third day in a row of this spectacle, I thought to myself: Seriously? Everyday, same place, same time? I know I demand my feedings, walks and belly scratching sessions on my carefully crafted schedule. I am a creature of excellent habits. But what you are up to is just stupid amigo.

I’m not an alpha predator, more of an alpha female by natural selection and proud of it. Still I noticed you there without even trying, chico!

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With you so clearly standing near the bottom of the ole food chain, are you really going to flaunt yourself on a regular basis like that? It’s just too easy.

Trust me, pal. As a petite little brown morsel who might be confused with a squirrel from 40 feet up in the air, I know what I’m talking about. And who could blame them. I’m irresistible! So I make mucho noise and stay on guard when I’m out and about. You need a little more strategy, dude. There are muchos big birds in our land of paradise. I advice you to keep lively. I love to bask in the sun too, but mix it up a bit. Keep them guessing.

Well, we’ll see how this turns out. For now, I’ve decided to call my lizard friend Pedro – not muy swift, but steady as a rock 😉 I’ll keep an eye out for my new amigo, but with all those big hungry birds around these here parts, I theeenk he better say his prayers or stay on his toes. High noon and a nice caliente juicy lizard spells LUNCH!

Mama says the Chihuahua is a little “pushy”? I don’t beg, but I do differ!!

February 21, 2012 § 5 Comments


Chanel the ChihuahuaWisdom Diva "talks"Moi? Oh, no-no-no, Chica! “Assertive” or maybe “naturally confident” would be a fairer description. If you check my contract (ahem, again), you’ll see my “entitlements” clearly listed – Princess in residence will have her way. But let’s be reasonable. Think of it. This little noggin can only hold sooooo much greatness. I must express my amazing mind. It is never good to staunch the gift of a creative genius or hold one’s feelings inside. (Isn’t that the point of this blog?)

So, Mama, don’t judge. Simply accept the little gift that is ME. To make it easier for you to understand my “terms,” let us review un poco:

  • one short loud bark = “Hello?!?!?! Pay attention, please.”
  • whine, whine = “Walk time, NOW!”
  • whine, bark = “Treat? Or to be more precise: TREAT!!”
  • yip, yip, stamping of feet = “Sit down, woman. It is lap time.”
  • snort, snort, hrmph = “OK, OK. The Cato can sit on your lap too.”
  • whine, whine, grrrrrrrrrrrr… = “Time for bed already, chica. Let’s go!”
  • whine, whine, push push = “I’m going under the blanket NOW so move over.”

You see? I DO make myself quite clear, Mama. You listen, life is peachy. I am not pushy, I am a Chihuahua — short, sweet and to the point!

It’s getting a little too close ’round here for chihuahua comfort

February 15, 2012 § Leave a comment


Between the Christmas iPad and Mom’s new gift subscription to a certain dog magazine, I’m losing more and more precious lap time. And let me clarify, oh dear Mama, I don’t want just a little bit of space and time on your lap. This Chica, (nay, your Princess!!) is entitled to much more!

It is distressing enough to hear you call the iPad “your baby.” (Yes, I heard you!! And we’ll talk about that another time. Hrmph!) And I realize that el Cato was here before the Chica came in to complete your universe so I must share with him. But seriously, we are reaching critical mass here!

I know I’m small, but the Mama must admit that she is not all that tall herself. Not to get ugly, let’s just say the kids got their long limbs from Dad. So we are talking precious real estate.

So these new intrusions, fascinating as they may be to you, are seriously disturbing the carefully designed and balanced ecosystem we had going here for me. Let me explain:

Mama’s lap = My belly, all nice and warm = One content chihuahua = A happy and relaxed Mama

You see? It is like the circle of life (cue the Disney soundtrack with the deep Lion King drums rumbling their thundering proclamation that all of nature is in balance.) And admit it, there is no more perfect confirmation that the world is as it should be than one of my luxurious stretches after a long lap nap — when I reach out in all directions with my toes, yawn as wide as my jaw will allow, and then turn my head up to look at you and sigh in absolute contentment. It IS what makes the world go round.

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So stop crowding me out, Mama. The lap is mine! ‘nough said!!

Thought for the day: Chihuahua warmers, PLEASE!

February 13, 2012 § 1 Comment


So if they can make little hand warmers that you can stick in humans’ gloves, could someone please get busy coming up with Chihuahua posterior warmers? I’m sure I’m not the only Chihuahua that lives in a house with tile floors. And when the thermometer plunges like it did yesterday here in Florida … Ay, Caramba (plus a few other choice words)! Let’s jut say I’m not getting out of bed TODAY!! You try it, chicos!

The Snuggy that Mom got me kinda works keeping me warmer, heinous as it may be. But it does nothing for my tender, well, um … butt.

I can picture pretty little pantaloons with a stylish little pocket on the backside to put the warmers in to keep my rear warm. I could even see a line for every occasion — sporty ones for walks around the neighborhood, stretchy ones to make your bum appear slim and trim, designer chic ones for social gatherings with blingy accents!

Here’s a template for any wise, enterprising designers looking to make mucho money. I tell you there is a huge population of cold Chihuahua rears out there just waiting. Remember, this is all in the name of World peace — a cold Chihuahua is a cranky Chihuahua.

Feliz New Year, Amigos!!

December 31, 2011 § 1 Comment


Happy New Year, my dear amigos. It has been a great year of change at Casa Chanel: Kids are both off to college; Empty nest adjustments with cleaning out, furniture rearrangements and simplifying things for us all; Mama and her partner, Aunt Tracey, started a new company that is sure to skyrocket in the coming year and impact lots of kids; Dad got new glasses with progressive-lenses so we are all staying out from underfoot (his foot!) at least; and we got some gizmo called a “blueray” (does that go well with tortillas?) that gets “wifi” (that sounds like it tickles) so the peeps are enjoying more movies at home and quality time together (with extra lap time for la Chica. Viva el blueray!)

Here’s hoping 2012 is a year full of hope, love and happiness for all of you. And to get us started on the right paw, I will make some resolutions/predictions:

  1. More walks and exercise better be in my future (ahem … oh, Mama!!!!!!) The Chica’s waistline will not improve on good intentions and baby carrots alone.
  2. More “public appearances” for the Chica. My fans here in the neighborhood are under control (scary grrrrrrrs, I’m watching you!) and I’m ready for fame and fortune. Maybe we’ll make it to Bark World this year! WooHoo!!
  3. More giving back. No, I don’t mean the obvious! I mean getting involved and helping those in need. I’ll be looking for some causes. Suggestions are welcome, amigos.
  4. More blog posts from la Chica (ahem … oh, Mama!!!!!!) We all understood the “dark period” while Mama was muy busy working on her book and educational products, but the world also needs a steady dose of Chihuahua Wisdom to continue to evolve.

And now for a nice siesta, err, I mean, some deep reflection 😉

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Mucho love and keeeeesses to my familia and amigos. And Cin-Cin!!

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