April 25, 2014 §
As I mentioned, Mom is now freelancing full-time as a graphic artist and web designer. But after years of trying to balance both a job and all the side stuff, she is really having to work at adjust to this new lifestyle. Don’t tell anyone, but she does a lot of walking around talking to herself and asking things like “what was I going to do next?” and “where did I leave my phone?” She is, como se dice, discombobulated. Look it up. I just added her picture on Wikipedia for clarification. But don’t tell her that either.
So ultra perceptive Chica that I am, I figured this was a great opportunity to turn into MY opportunity. You see, Mom has been muy busy for a couple of years trying to build up her business. And well, I don’t feel I have been appropriately pampered in the meantime. Mucho work = muy poco time for the Chica. Ah, it seems like ages, but I still remember the days of pretty dresses and fashion shows, public outings where I signed autographs and visited with my fans. Oh, and the treats! The treats that came so easily just for pure cuteness. I never had to jump through so many hoops, stare so intensely and incessantly at her noggin to get through to her, or come up with ever more clever ways to get a certain distracted someone’s attention as I’ve had to these past year and a half.
But, Chicos, it is a new day, isn’t it. (Bwahahaha!!! Insert villainous laugh here.) And here is how I see it going, de aqui pa’lante:
- Open eyes = rub my tummy and tell me what a precious princess I am. (Please allow a 1/2 hour minimum)
- Get up, (yes, you may grab your slippers if you must) then carry me to the kitchen to serve me breakfast first.
- Cafe, no doubt, but go ahead and start getting my Cheerios ready while you wait. You know I need my fiber to maintain este cuerpo.
- Lanai time to commune with nature. I get the lap to oversee the operations; cats get the lizards. (Please allow a 1/2 hour minimum)
- Dishes, email, blah-blah-blah … then mid-morning snack! I can get the catos to help with this one. They are simple-minded, easy to train creatures of habit like my human. I already have them stalking her in the kitchen and tackling her if she does not comply.
- Mom works, I get nappy time 🙂
- Lunch time = more snacks for moi. Carrots and oh, I don’t know, maybe nibbles of what ever you are eating. A chica’s work is never done. She did say she wanted to lose a couple of pounds 😉 didn’t she?
- More cafe, more lap time. Mom needs to learn to pace herself. (Please allow a 1/2 hour minimum)
- OK, back to work, but first I need to be tenderly propped on my sidekick-ottoman next to her computer chair and appropriately wrapped in my fluffy blanket. From there I conduct my eyes-closed “surveillance” duty, policing any movement along the casa. It is part of my Jedi Chica training. No questions, ask you may.
- Catos usually get a little pesky sometime around mid-afternoon, so Mom must let them back out to the lanai for more “hunting” practice (like the lizards don’t have it figured out by now). Silly cats. But we all get some fresh air. Que nice.
- More work, with regular petting of my belly. But by 5:30pm, my belly is too stimulated and starts to demand more attention. Is it dinner time? No? Well, I disagree. Please serve.
- 5:45, Dad gets home. But he may not realize I have already eaten. (Bwahahaha!!! Insert villainous laugh here too.)
- Around 6:30 I give them a break so they can eat. But I always offer to help “clean up” 😉
- Walk time!!!!! Much more on that to come, but suffice it to say that there are always treats after I “do” what I am supposed to “do” outside like a good Chica.
- 7:30pm, humans getting old now, will settle for DVR shows and a quiet evening = unlimited lap time until I get carried off to bed.
Not a bad day’s work is it? Let me know if you need any tips on human conditioning training. Always glad to help my amigos.
June 16, 2012 §
To the guy who:
Keeps my belly scratches going until mom gets home.
Sneaks me tidbits when he is carving that yummilicious rotisserie chicken.
Lifts me up onto the couch (and eventually his lap) when I give him that pitiful look and no one is watching.
Puts up with me walking all over the bed (and him) in the middle of the night looking for a warm and cozy spot to snuggle into.
I tried to find the perfect gift for the perfect Daddy. I dragged Mama out, far and wide. You know how picky I can be. But alas, nothing seemed to capture just how I feel about you. Nothing would do.
So I enlisted Mama’s help to make you something truly ESPECIAL for you. I picked your (OK one of my favorite) colors. I packed a lot of love into every stitch and bedazzle. Mucho bling for my Papi!
I hope you like it. Now you can be a real knight in “shinning” armor for all to see. And I hope you know how much I love you.
Your little Chica
February 21, 2012 §
Moi? Oh, no-no-no, Chica! “Assertive” or maybe “naturally confident” would be a fairer description. If you check my contract (ahem, again), you’ll see my “entitlements” clearly listed – Princess in residence will have her way. But let’s be reasonable. Think of it. This little noggin can only hold sooooo much greatness. I must express my amazing mind. It is never good to staunch the gift of a creative genius or hold one’s feelings inside. (Isn’t that the point of this blog?)
So, Mama, don’t judge. Simply accept the little gift that is ME. To make it easier for you to understand my “terms,” let us review un poco:
- one short loud bark = “Hello?!?!?! Pay attention, please.”
- whine, whine = “Walk time, NOW!”
- whine, bark = “Treat? Or to be more precise: TREAT!!”
- yip, yip, stamping of feet = “Sit down, woman. It is lap time.”
- snort, snort, hrmph = “OK, OK. The Cato can sit on your lap too.”
- whine, whine, grrrrrrrrrrrr… = “Time for bed already, chica. Let’s go!”
- whine, whine, push push = “I’m going under the blanket NOW so move over.”
You see? I DO make myself quite clear, Mama. You listen, life is peachy. I am not pushy, I am a Chihuahua — short, sweet and to the point!