August 2, 2010 § Leave a comment
So today was that oh, most glorious day of the year when Mom takes us to the vet. No warning. Actually she was quite sneaky if you ask me. Mom just came to pick me up all lovingly and innocently from my mid-morning nap perch on the window sill. And then WHAM! right into the pet carrier I went. Or shall we say, I was unceremoniously stuffed in to be more accurate. And let me tell you the pet carrier does not fit my grand magnificence. I’ll admit I may have put on a pound or two over the years, but my fabulous flowing coat needs more room to breathe. Who designs these things anyhow!
The pesky Chihuahua on the other hand gets to go on this marvelous jaunt just in her harness. And can that pint-sized fur ball make noise. But let me tell you, American Idol she is not. I have never heard so much whining. And for what, when she actually got her shots, she didn’t even flinch. She is such a drama queen. You are no little damsel in distress, Miss. I’ve seen you going after all of the treats from Mom with all the demure gentleness of a grizzly. All those shaky, quivering looks are wasted on me, Chica!
At least while Mom is struggling to keep the pesky Chihuahua calm, I get the attentions of the awesome vet’s assistant. Our vet is a very sweet guy, but she’s got my number! Scratching just behind my left ear and whispering sweet nothings ….
Ahhhh, such is the life of a kept feline. Yet don’t worry much, my friends. I’m recovering and napping now. It may look like I have accepted my fate, but I’m not going through all that indignity so quietly. Night time will be here soon enough. That’s when I’ll exact my revenge on the humans. Sleep, you say, ha, ha, ha (evil feline laughter) we’ll see about that!! Hope you are not too attached to that vase, or too proud of the neatly stacked paper on your desk. Oh, and Chihuahua, just you try to tip toe past me tonight on the way to the potty tonight! Heh, heh!
July 14, 2010 § Leave a comment
Mom found me a new paw pal during her recent trip to NYC. Meet my new buddy, Aspen.
He is a handsome boxer who lives in the suburbs with his family – Mom’s friend Tracey (that would be Aspen’s Mama), Zack, (the little man of the house who would be Aspen’s human brother) and Jeff (the dad.) Aspen is 5 years old, but at heart he is forever a puppy. He loves to play with toys, particularly the stuffed and chewy kind. Aspen also seems to have no real concept of his large size. According to Mom, a sweet greeting from Aspen requires a bath soon thereafter – lots of big kisses and a large paw hug are inevitable.
But then since I have no concept of my smallness either, as a friend, I can coach him a little on the social graces. Like I always say, survival among the humans is all about lithe, precision movement, quickness of the mind, and perfecting the craftiness of the “sneak and scrounge.” Of course, if all that fails, then it is about always looking innocent when you do knock something over or eat something you shouldn’t. And in case my angelic looks don’t cut it, I cast doubt in my gato’s direction. Works every time 😉 You can look all hurt by the “accusation” and point sadly at Zack. A heavy sigh coupled with that mug of yours it should do the trick!
But back to the introductions. The more exciting news is that like my Mom, Aspen’s mom likes to write. And though Aspen and I won’t get much of a chance to play tug-a-stuffed-animal to pieces in “person,” I thought we could be awesome pen Amigos. So Aspen has agreed to be a contributor to my blog. I mean, the advice I have to offer IS invaluable, but I can that appreciate bigger dogs have their own challenges and approaches to the necessities in life. He can bring a lot to the table. Besides, he is awfully cute!
June 16, 2010 § Leave a comment
I’ve decided I can no longer sit by idly as the world sinks into total chaos. Surely what has happened in my household has happened to others out there. This spicy newcomer (yes you, Chanel) is added to the family and it is “forget you, cato!” So I thought I’d start a group for “Big Brothers” displaced in their owners’ top affections by a usurping Chihuahua infiltrator. Yes, I was once king -“top dog” in a sense – of this household until this high-maintenance bundle of noisome yippiness (Mom would say “bundle of joy” but you know what I mean) walked in to our lives. In her exuberance Chanel has totally disrupted my carefully crafted environment of total respect and adoration for the ascended house cat. Though I think she’s rather wily, perhaps she innocently can’t help her fidgety constitution. But it doesn’t matter. The point is that she’s getting too much love.
So I’ve taken a page from a long time idol, “Frasier Crane,” and borrowed the high road upon which he tried so hard to live his life. The peaceful if inwardly seething approach to finding balance in the world by talking things out. And thus I say to all reserved, properly dignified felines out there who’s lives have been marred by the introduction of a shameless Chihuahua, I am Tigger Glynn, and “I’m listening.” Write to me here in the comments section and share your hapless stories. I will help give you voice and together perhaps we can find some comfort. We will overcome!
June 13, 2010 § 1 Comment
I’m not too sure about this arrangement. Before my so-called “little sister” came along, I got all the lap time, the belly scratches, the adoring kisses, and the morsels when turkey sandwiches were being made. Now this yippy (yes, though mom would deny it, I think my pesky sister is yippy!) intruder is trying to usurp my throne! Hey! I AM the king of this jungle, kid!!
“Yip, yip,” and she gets taken out. “Yip, yip, yip,” and she gets fed. “Yip, yip, whine, whine,” and she gets treats. It is only Cheerios which I’d hardly consider edible, but it is the notion that irks. Oh, and one whimper, and it is all the belly rubs, she wants!!!
And with all the attention this pest is getting, my all-powerful silent stares just don’t have the irresistible manipulative effects they once had. They have lost some of their umph! Don’t mess with the master, chiquita! For now, just know I’m keeping my eye on you, sneaky one. You will fall!!
But, worry not, my feline enthusiasts, in the meantime I think I may have stumbled upon something to re- establish some order around here. If I position myself just right between her and the way to mom’s bedroom, I can make her shake and whimper. He-he!! I don’t have to do another thing, just be my imposing self and lay there “innocently.” Ha!! She has to call Mom to come and get her (picture my evil gloat here!) You’d think she was expecting a surprise attack or something, wink, wink.
I told you, chica. Don’t get too comfortable. You know what they say out there in the wild, “just when you least expect it … EXPECT IT!!!!
April 10, 2010 § 3 Comments
Have I mentioned that I have a big brother? He is adopted, a lot hairier than me and a bit fickle. Then again, he is a cat. His name is Tigger, though I think they missed the mark there. I see him more as a “Killer” or a “Muffasa” perhaps even “Predator” at the very least “Tiger!” I can attest to his sharp teeth, mean left hook and multiple personality disorder.
Oh, he can come in handy — he loves to knock things over, and that sometimes leads to snacks for me. He gets wicked pleasure from pouncing on smaller creatures. And sometimes that includes me. I can never tell what is going on in his head. But when I see “the look” (as seen in the picture above) I stear clear and send the bat signal for Mom to come get me.
But as he has a peculiar advantages — he can leap tall furniture in a single bound, is faster than any speeding bullet I’ve ever seen, and he is definitely more powerful than the vacum cleaner (no way anyone can keep up with his hairballs,) I’ve decided to keep him on the the team. You know, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. So he will now be an official contributor to this blog. Besides, I score points with Mom if we play nice.
February 21, 2010 § Leave a comment
Do not fret. Your Mami is here, visiting your chihuahua family in West Palm. I’m keeping her lap warm. 🙂 Hope all is well. Kiss, kiss, sniff, sniff,
Mom (the original one)
P.S. You could call once in a while, you know. Have you heard of skype? It is all the rage with the other mamas in the barrio.