Squirrel, don’t you mock me!

How dare you mock me every morning with your screechy laugh. Twitching your tail at me from the top of the backyard fence! What? You got fleas?!?!

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Let me esplaeeeeeeeeen, mija! In the great scheme of things, you are a rodent. I may look like one, but I am an ascended canine. Look that up on the food chain. I make out in that deal.

I may be stuck inside, while you frolic about the great outdoors. But inside my cozy little “cage” I get 2 square meals a day, unlimited cheerios, and adoring humans ready to see to my every whine. Oh, and I get to sleep on “their” posture pedic. How’s that oak branch working out for you?

And did I mention the belly rubs and kisses. You’d probably like that. But, oh yeah, you’re busy frolicking outside. Too bad. More for me.

BTW, when I do get outside, I’m planning on digging up all your acorns. What? You started it! You woke me up and got me in trouble for barking so early in the morning,

And … And … Whatever! You stink, you fluffy-tailed rat!

OK, see you mañana, Chica! Same time, by the same window, same fence! Gotta run! Ciao!

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Mom’s birthday is coming up

So Mom has a birthday coming up, though she’d keeeeeell me if she knew I’m blabbing. See, she “stopped” having birthdays 5 or 6 years ago. What does she have to complain about. It is seven for me with each passing year, Mijita!! But we won’t get into that.

So one of my ever faithful fans spotted just the thing and reported from the road. Look at what he found!!!!!!

Chihuahua gifts spotted by intrepid reporter Jack Rowland on his way to Fontana Village (wherever that is?!?!) Thanks, Jack!!!! and good luck on the race.

They are perfect: Chanel the teacup princess, Chanel the icing on your cake, and Chanel the life of the party!!

Whaaaaaaat?!?!?! You know I’m right!! And because I just can’t choose, it is all three for Mom!!!!!!

You can never have to much Chihuahua in your life!!! Love you, Mom!

Small dog survival tips on scrounging opps

As the smallest member of my family, I learned quickly about two things: scrounging at lightning speed and eat first, ask later tactics. It is a survival instinct proundly handed down in my family now for generations.

So in the spirit of good will, I thought I’d share a little Chihuahua wisdom on tactical maneuvering.

Good eats:
When Mom is making tacos – Mmmmm shreaded cheese raining down from the counter.

Scrambled eggs – particularly when Mom is making breakfast on a schoolday while sleepwalking (6:15 a.m. is just not in her vocabulary!)

Turkey sandwiches by Dad – he tends to go overboard. Guilt is a fabulous tool.

Cheerios – anytime I hear the yellow box shaking.

Late night snacks – this is when I find the intense stare works best on the debilitated humans. The kids are the easiest because they know they are not supposed to sneak food into their bedrooms. I’m doing this for their own good.

Not so good;
When Dad is making soup – onions, yuck!!!!!

Actually, any time Dad us cooking – them’s big feet to scurry around.

So good luck, friends! I think I hear the sweet clickety-clack of Mom’s shoes in the kitchen. Gotta run! Ciao!