February 13, 2012 § 1 Comment
So if they can make little hand warmers that you can stick in humans’ gloves, could someone please get busy coming up with Chihuahua posterior warmers? I’m sure I’m not the only Chihuahua that lives in a house with tile floors. And when the thermometer plunges like it did yesterday here in Florida … Ay, Caramba (plus a few other choice words)! Let’s jut say I’m not getting out of bed TODAY!! You try it, chicos!
The Snuggy that Mom got me kinda works keeping me warmer, heinous as it may be. But it does nothing for my tender, well, um … butt.
I can picture pretty little pantaloons with a stylish little pocket on the backside to put the warmers in to keep my rear warm. I could even see a line for every occasion — sporty ones for walks around the neighborhood, stretchy ones to make your bum appear slim and trim, designer chic ones for social gatherings with blingy accents!
Here’s a template for any wise, enterprising designers looking to make mucho money. I tell you there is a huge population of cold Chihuahua rears out there just waiting. Remember, this is all in the name of World peace — a cold Chihuahua is a cranky Chihuahua.
November 17, 2011 § Leave a comment
So I went to the Vet today and left in a big huff. Hard to believe, I know, from such an easy-going Chica like me. But let me tell you what happened and YOU be the judge.
I was due for my yearly check up and vaccinations, so Mama bundled me up and off we went to the Vet’s office. Never my favorite, but I was determined to get through it with dignity. Don’t get me wrong. Dr. B is a pretty nice guy, but all the poking and prodding that comes with the territory makes the chica muy cranky.
But I was wearing my best collar, pink and shiny. And Mama had just given me a bath a couple of days ago so I was fresh and fluffy. With the natural gleam in my eyes, I was the perfect specimen of the greatest dog breed on the planet, the Chihuahua.
When suddenly, I hear them talking over my head and Dr. B. starts to insinuate that I am a little bit “chunky.” QUE?!?!?! I protested. I am NOT chubby, Señor! I am a healthy, curvalicious latina chica!
Then the doctor started giving Mama some mumbo jumbo information about how giving pets treats is a psychological farce. He said humans tell themselves they do it out of guilt because they are eating and feel they must share. Others feel their pets are like their children and they like to spoil them, just a little. Some simply think that treats make their pets happy (I like those people). But Dr. B and some fancy-schmancy psychologist he heard speak at a conference believe that it is nothing but instant gratification … for the HUMAN!!!! That there is no bonding or reinforcement benefit to the pet!
So, wait. First he calls me fat and THEN he tells my Mama that giving me treats is actually hurting me?!?! How DARE he mess around with my precious bits of turkey from Dad’s sandwiches; or with my tender morsels of chicken and my fluffy tidbits of rice when Mama is making dinner. Or the Taco Night cheeeeeeeese?!?!?! Are you crrrrrazzzzzy, chico?
He may have the medical degree, but he eeeeez not muy smart. I can guarantee that you can get a lot more ahem cooperation from this chica with the proper incentive!
So Mama, I am game for the extra walks and exercise. We can all use those. But don’t you forget, every little bit of me IS full of goodness for you to love. So pack my baby carrot sticks, Chica!!
June 18, 2011 § Leave a comment
I am a very lucky chica. I have a great human family – Mama, you know her well by now; my girl and my boy, great belly scratchers whenever they are home; and last but never least, my Papa.
When he picks me up like a football – gently, but securely tucked into the crook of his arm – well, I feel like I’m on top of the world. From way up here, I know I’m safe and sound. When Mama and the kids are not looking, he spoils me with bits of chicken and turkey. Though then he blames my less than petite waistline on Mama indulging me. And though he is not entirely comfortable taking me on walks by himself (he worries about his manly image with the neighbors) he never skips a chance to go with me AND Mama around the block.
So on this special weekend for fathers everywhere, I’d like to tell you, mis amigos, a little bit about our very special love.
Me and my Papa …
we love to eat “our” dinner on the snack tables flipping through the TV channels – well, he does. I just love snarfing up the crumbs 😉
we love to watch the movies together with Mama – he snores, I snore AND wiggle.
we love to bury ourselves deep under the warm blankets – muy nice and cozy, if a little crowded.
we love to cook a special meal now and again and take over the kitchen with style and “flair” – mainly, again, I love the side benefits: mucho crumbs.
But most of all, we love each other. I’m his little squeaker, he is my giant hero (he eeez muy tall you see.) So today and every day, I’d like to say Happy Papa’s Day to the best Daddy ever! (And watch out, ’cause I will eat YOU up with keeeesses today.)
And to Coco, my original Papi: XOXOXOXO!! A beeeeg piece of my leeeettle heart is yours forever.
April 27, 2011 § Leave a comment
Mama thinks there might be something wrong with my tongue. It seems there is a switch – the one that turns on when my tummy gets scratches – which gets stuck in that on position.
Once she starts to scratch my belly and I start to tip over sideways in utter contentment … ahhhhhh, I just can’t stop kissing on her. Kiss-kiss-kiss-kiss-kiss … the Energizer bunny has nothing on me. I could go on like this forever! From the human perspective, of course, it looks and feels more like lick-lick-lick-sluuuuuuuurp-lick.
So eventually she says, “yuck. Stop it, Chanelly, I am not a lollipop!” Lollipop? I have no idea what you’re talking about. I assure you I’m not thinking that. From the puppy perspective, it feels more like savoring a delightful tender slab of prime steaky. Both fine delicacies one can easily confuse 😉
But seriously, there is no “malfunction.” I admit lose focus in my state of belly-sctatching ecstasy. In my defense, I say she just gets sweeter with age and I just can’t get enough of my Mama. Sorry, Chica! No exchanges, no refunds on chihuahua merchandise. Just love.
February 22, 2011 § 3 Comments
Why does Mama say “I’ve created a monster” when she looks at me sometimes? Moi? Her sweet, beautiful princess? Her angel?
My finely tuned squeaks – crafted to rival any soprano diva if you ask me – are merely used to remind her that Cheerios are a recommended part of my daily fiber allowance. You see, sometimes in the middle of our ritual Cheerio “fetching” she pauses to eat her breakfast and stuff. I’m just helping her stay focused.
The yips in the kitchen are to remind her when she is making yummy, scrambled eggs, that they are good for my lustrous fur coat. Same goes for fluffy warm rice. More fiber 😉 A little dollop for la chica goes a long way!
Then there are the gentle growlings I must sometimes use when she is trying to dislodge me from her lap. We all know how important my beauty sleep is. Every nap counts, amigos. Surely she is not thinking straight.
I gotta say, I’ve heard her call me things in her human tongue (with a cuban accent) that I don’t recognize. But I don’t think I’m going to try to decipher those. They don’t sound muy nice.
Hey, I AM trying to communicate! Heh, heh, does THAT make me a monster 😉 ?
February 12, 2011 § 9 Comments
Ahhhhhhhh, Donny Osmond’s Puppy Love! It IS the ultimate love song for this Valentine. It leaves the chica feeling mucho amorrrrrrr. My tiny tachycardic heart goes a-flutter … my subluxated knees grow weak … the room spins around my apple-shaped noggin and …
Listen, if there is a special chica or handsome chico you’ve had in your love sights, share this ultimate serenade and watch it’s magic do the trick. GUARANTEED!!
Mucho keeeeeesses to all of my Valentines ;•-)
Oh, and happy Saturday pet blog hopping: