Chihuahuas may be creatures of habit, but this lizard is an idiot

March 19, 2012 § 1 Comment


This week during my afternoon walks, while I performed my regular neighborhood inspection as big-kahuna-head-honcho-brava-sherrif in the barrio, I noticed a particular lawn ornament with a little something extra. I notice everything, of course, keen observer that I am. So after about the third day in a row of this spectacle, I thought to myself: Seriously? Everyday, same place, same time? I know I demand my feedings, walks and belly scratching sessions on my carefully crafted schedule. I am a creature of excellent habits. But what you are up to is just stupid amigo.

I’m not an alpha predator, more of an alpha female by natural selection and proud of it. Still I noticed you there without even trying, chico!

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With you so clearly standing near the bottom of the ole food chain, are you really going to flaunt yourself on a regular basis like that? It’s just too easy.

Trust me, pal. As a petite little brown morsel who might be confused with a squirrel from 40 feet up in the air, I know what I’m talking about. And who could blame them. I’m irresistible! So I make mucho noise and stay on guard when I’m out and about. You need a little more strategy, dude. There are muchos big birds in our land of paradise. I advice you to keep lively. I love to bask in the sun too, but mix it up a bit. Keep them guessing.

Well, we’ll see how this turns out. For now, I’ve decided to call my lizard friend Pedro – not muy swift, but steady as a rock 😉 I’ll keep an eye out for my new amigo, but with all those big hungry birds around these here parts, I theeenk he better say his prayers or stay on his toes. High noon and a nice caliente juicy lizard spells LUNCH!

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Thought for the day: Chihuahua warmers, PLEASE!

February 13, 2012 § 1 Comment


So if they can make little hand warmers that you can stick in humans’ gloves, could someone please get busy coming up with Chihuahua posterior warmers? I’m sure I’m not the only Chihuahua that lives in a house with tile floors. And when the thermometer plunges like it did yesterday here in Florida … Ay, Caramba (plus a few other choice words)! Let’s jut say I’m not getting out of bed TODAY!! You try it, chicos!

The Snuggy that Mom got me kinda works keeping me warmer, heinous as it may be. But it does nothing for my tender, well, um … butt.

I can picture pretty little pantaloons with a stylish little pocket on the backside to put the warmers in to keep my rear warm. I could even see a line for every occasion — sporty ones for walks around the neighborhood, stretchy ones to make your bum appear slim and trim, designer chic ones for social gatherings with blingy accents!

Here’s a template for any wise, enterprising designers looking to make mucho money. I tell you there is a huge population of cold Chihuahua rears out there just waiting. Remember, this is all in the name of World peace — a cold Chihuahua is a cranky Chihuahua.

Chihuahua – Weather watcher (from my window)

August 25, 2011 § Leave a comment


Ay, caramba, amigos! I don’t want to jinx us, but I am really grateful that we escaped the wrath of Hurricane Irene here in Florida. Puerto Rico and some of the islands got pummeled!!

Check this out:

Eeeek! on montabe.com

Of course this picture is fake, but my Mama remembers how crazy floods were in Puerto Rico where she spent part of her childhood. So much so that finding a sharky swimming on a highway would NOT have surprised her. Eeeeeeeek!!

I must also say anything I was muy worried about our boy, so recently installed into his 5th-floor dorm room at FAU in Boca Raton. He was going to be seeing it all VEEEEERYclose and personal from his window!

Some Chihuahua hurricane survival tips:

  1. Don’t lose sight of your humans. Have your blanky, favorite toy and food bowls ready to go if you have to evacuate.
  2. Stay on the high ground (for me the back of the couch) but find a safe, warm dry spot somewhere in the safest room of the house – the room least exposed to windows.
  3. Make sure you have your collar with id on, in case you get separated from your humans.
  4. Don’t get too spooked and start barking, everyone will be nervous enough.

I’ll be keeping my paws crossed for the folks  and critters up the east coast! Stay safe!!!!!!

A hot Chihuahua is not so hot

June 1, 2011 § Leave a comment


Pheeeeeeew! It is definitely that muy caliente time of year here in Florida. Let’s just say that the last few days, I’ve been feeling less than fresh as a daisy during my morning walks. Actually, I’ve been looking more like a wilted petunia. Perspiration is definitely not my thing. Mama says that my tongue hanging out and dragging is not terribly chic. So she’s been kindly picking me up when I start to pant and carrying me the rest of the way until we get inside and back to my cool water bowl. And the way it is going, it looks like this summer will be a real hot one. So we looked up some tips on keeping the precious chica cool and safe and we thought we’d share the with you, amigos.

Among my favorites from the ASPCA:

1. Give your pet a summer ‘do’ – I personally am short-haired, but my leeetle heart breaks for my amigos with the long locks.

2. Stay off the hot asphalt – us pups are a lot closer to the ground and the worst of that heat. In particular, at my “elevation” it is hotter than my abuela’s hot tamales!

Getting the picture?

3. Provide shade and water – bring my Evian please! Don’t leave home without it, and properly chilled, muchachos!!

4. Watch for dehydration and overheating –  this one is REALLY serious! To quote the scary warning:

Symptoms of  overheating in pets include excessive panting, difficulty breathing, increased heart rate, drooling, weakness, stupor and even collapse, according to the ASPCA website. In more severe cases, pets can have seizures, bloody diarrhea and vomiting.  

5. And of course NEVER leave your pet in the car!!  – Just check out how quickly things can get dangerous inside a car.

For more great information on caring for your pets during the summer, check out the full article: Keeping your pets safe in hot weather from Patch.com, or go right to the ASPCA website. Stay safe out there, chicos!

Chihuahua world invaded by the visiting “critters”

May 26, 2011 § 2 Comments


Wow! I think the coast is clear!! The visiting “critters” are gone and my world getting is back to normal now. I had heard mama talking for weeks about some “nephew” thingies coming to our house, and something called “babysitting” that she couldn’t WAIT to do. Sounded kinda fun, but I had NOOOOO idea my world was about to …

I tell you it was like an invasion from outer space! They came with all these strange contraptions I’d never seen before – inflatable beds (very unstable if you ask me, I rolled right off!), inflatable bathtubs, an all-terrain vehicle called a “stroller” (watch out!), and a throne/mission control seat referred to as the “high chair.” From this “high chair” whenever the nephew “called,” all my peeps would scramble to serve and bring him food offerings. He seemed to be the one in charge of this whole takeover.

And you tell me. How come when they make stinky “presents” for Mama she laughs and plays with them while she cleans that up? She doesn’t think my surprises are that funny and cute! And trust me those were some real stiiiiiiinkers! The whole house smelled funky. What ARE those guys eating?!?!

Oh, and the apparent mind control power that those “nephews” have over my humans was unbelievable!! None of my favorite and usually fail-proof tricks seemed to work to gain me some attention, chicos. Oh no, no, no. They were all too busy chasing after those critters – playing with their toys, feeding them funny smelling “formulas” (that must be their secret power potion), giving them baths and talking in some strange language called “baby talk.” I have enough troubles trying to decipher human lingo. Now I was really lost.

And as for my Mama’s lap … GONE!!! Or should I say permanently occupied! Mi casa is NOT su casa, amigos!!

But the worst was the sleeping arrangements. No one seemed to be in their proper beds – my girl was on a couch, my boy on the other sofa and Mama kept changing rooms and going to sleep with the wiggly critter nephews. And I was unceremoniously shooed out of the rooms and left to sleep on the doggie bed! What?!?! No warm Mama to cuddle with?! Noooooooooooo …

Well, now they have moved on to the next part of their “visit” – the beach. I mean the nephew critters were cute – giggles, squeals and all – but I need my planet back to normal – where I am the princess AND in charge! Hrmph!! Mama was a little sad when they left, but I was not entirely sorry to see their humans come back to get them and ALL their gear. Heh, heh, their mothership was bursting at the seams when they pulled away.

I managed to take a picture before they blasted away so I could report them to NASA. You be on the lookout, amigos!!

Mama's nephews

Alligators?!?! This Chihuahua is shaking for real now!

April 9, 2011 § 3 Comments


For those of you who sometime envy la Chica and her leisurely life here in sunny Florida, I am here to tell you, it comes with certain risks! Mama was going off to work today when she spotted this little message casually posted on the community announcement board:

Tra, la, la ... just another nice day in the neighborhood ...

Seriously, in case you missed it ... an ALLIGATOR!!

What, no “don’t speed and be careful over the new ‘speed bumps'”? Or “watch for children at play and other ankle biters”?  Or, “don’t forget trash day is Thursday but be sure to look under your cars for unusual “yard stuff'”?

Sure, “next board meeting is on April 25th and top of the mornin’ to ya”?! Right?!?!?!?!? Helloooooooo! We are talking ALLIGATOR!! I say they’d BETTER get that trapper out here and PRONTO!!!

You see, we have a small pond in the neighborhood and several in the immediate area. And I guess spring IS the season for love even in the alligator world. So this is the time of year for a lot of gators “sightings” as they are on the move professing their love for one another. Funny thing about Florida though, is that a gator has to become a “nuisance”  – that is get big enough (hmmm … I wonder eating what?) AND “threaten” residents or pets – before a complaint can be taken seriously enough for the authorities to send a trapper.

“Seriously” enough?!?! This is an “Eeeeek,” “Ay Caramba!” and “Help! Get me outta here!!!” all combined moment if there ever was one.

So yeah, I don’t know about the rest of my peeps around the ole barrio, but I think until further notice me and my Cato will be sunbathing safely just inside of that lanai sliding glass door. Thank … you!!

I won't be sleeping a wink!

P.S. Happy and SAFE Saturday Pet Blog Hop 🙂 And to quote another famous chica, “There’s no place like home … There’s no place like home … There’s no place like home … ” Stay safe, amigos.

Chihuahua ears are a very effective high-technology, home defense system (no jokes, please!)

April 2, 2011 § Leave a comment


Like all good chihuahua security agents, I don’t like loud noises (except those that I make!) Mama wonders if this is because of the swiveling “radar dishes” on top of our heads we refer to as ears. Being that I can hear a crumb drop on the kitchen floor from any room in the house, I’m pretty aware of all noise disturbances within my domain. She believes I am a little over sensitive. I’m just doing my job as high-tech, official protector of the household and its peeps.

Let me tell you about some of the worst offenders in my barrio:

GRRrrrr! In the ring, it is Chanel the Terror vs the creaky ironing board!

Take the vacuum cleaner – nasty, beastly contraption! I’ve explained my strong objections to its weekly appearances in MY house.

And don’t get me started on Mama’s espresso maker. We have nicknamed it The Dragon because it huffs and puffs scary steam and it is a formidable opponent that I must face every morning before I get my breakfast Cheerios. Not so good when the rest of the peeps want to sleep in. But I must do my job.

UGH! Then there is the 25-year-old-but-seldom-used-so-it-is-still-around ironing board that Dad insists on bringing out every once in a while. When he opens up it up, I MUST go berserk and defend my peeps from that screechy nuisance. I make mucho growling threats, get my hackles up (all the way down to my tail!) and run back and forth on the back of the couch (my official guard dog station) barking like the great threatening force that I am. The noise from this confrontation gets fierce, which makes Daddy yell and scream too. I guess I’m not scoring points with him on this either. Thankfully because Mama says ironing is against her religion, she doesn’t have witness this spectacle. But when things settle down and Dad finally gets to iron his dress shirts, all that remains of the commotion is him mumbling and grumbling funny things while I snort and walk away in victory.

As you can see, I am usually proud and in charge.

photo: tampabay.com

But this week I met my match!  We had some MAJOR storms go through our neighborhood – BIG thunder, hail, scary wind, sideways rain even tornadoes in some places nearby. Needless to say I was NOT a happy camper. I must admit I hid under the covers with our boy who was home during the day. And once Mama got home from work, I climbed on to her lap, gazed intently into her eyes for soothing. And though I kept one ear attuned to her, the other remained tuned in to all the crazy noises outside. Mama said I looked a little off kilter, in a Picasso kind of way.

Thank goodness Florida weather changes fairly quickly and we are now having a nice sunny weekend. And speaking of Picasso, we are headed to the much-anticipated Paws for the Arts event!! I will post a picture of my master creation when I come back. And maybe a photo or two. If you happen to be in Tampa Bay, do come out and join me!! And if you are not, enjoy some happy Saturday Pet Blog Hopping! Hasta luego, chicos!

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