Chihuahuas may be creatures of habit, but this lizard is an idiot

This week during my afternoon walks, while I performed my regular neighborhood inspection as big-kahuna-head-honcho-brava-sherrif in the barrio, I noticed a particular lawn ornament with a little something extra. I notice everything, of course, keen observer that I am. So after about the third day in a row of this spectacle, I thought to myself: Seriously? Everyday, same place, same time? I know I demand my feedings, walks and belly scratching sessions on my carefully crafted schedule. I am a creature of excellent habits. But what you are up to is just stupid amigo.

I’m not an alpha predator, more of an alpha female by natural selection and proud of it. Still I noticed you there without even trying, chico!

With you so clearly standing near the bottom of the ole food chain, are you really going to flaunt yourself on a regular basis like that? It’s just too easy.

Trust me, pal. As a petite little brown morsel who might be confused with a squirrel from 40 feet up in the air, I know what I’m talking about. And who could blame them. I’m irresistible! So I make mucho noise and stay on guard when I’m out and about. You need a little more strategy, dude. There are muchos big birds in our land of paradise. I advice you to keep lively. I love to bask in the sun too, but mix it up a bit. Keep them guessing.

Well, we’ll see how this turns out. For now, I’ve decided to call my lizard friend Pedro – not muy swift, but steady as a rock 😉 I’ll keep an eye out for my new amigo, but with all those big hungry birds around these here parts, I theeenk he better say his prayers or stay on his toes. High noon and a nice caliente juicy lizard spells LUNCH!

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Thought for the day: Chihuahua warmers, PLEASE!

So if they can make little hand warmers that you can stick in humans’ gloves, could someone please get busy coming up with Chihuahua posterior warmers? I’m sure I’m not the only Chihuahua that lives in a house with tile floors. And when the thermometer plunges like it did yesterday here in Florida … Ay, Caramba (plus a few other choice words)! Let’s jut say I’m not getting out of bed TODAY!! You try it, chicos!

The Snuggy that Mom got me kinda works keeping me warmer, heinous as it may be. But it does nothing for my tender, well, um … butt.

I can picture pretty little pantaloons with a stylish little pocket on the backside to put the warmers in to keep my rear warm. I could even see a line for every occasion — sporty ones for walks around the neighborhood, stretchy ones to make your bum appear slim and trim, designer chic ones for social gatherings with blingy accents!

Here’s a template for any wise, enterprising designers looking to make mucho money. I tell you there is a huge population of cold Chihuahua rears out there just waiting. Remember, this is all in the name of World peace — a cold Chihuahua is a cranky Chihuahua.

Chihuahua – Weather watcher (from my window)

Ay, caramba, amigos! I don’t want to jinx us, but I am really grateful that we escaped the wrath of Hurricane Irene here in Florida. Puerto Rico and some of the islands got pummeled!!

Check this out:

Eeeek! on montabe.com

Of course this picture is fake, but my Mama remembers how crazy floods were in Puerto Rico where she spent part of her childhood. So much so that finding a sharky swimming on a highway would NOT have surprised her. Eeeeeeeek!!

I must also say anything I was muy worried about our boy, so recently installed into his 5th-floor dorm room at FAU in Boca Raton. He was going to be seeing it all VEEEEERYclose and personal from his window!

Some Chihuahua hurricane survival tips:

1. Don’t lose sight of your humans. Have your blanky, favorite toy and food bowls ready to go if you have to evacuate.
2. Stay on the high ground (for me the back of the couch) but find a safe, warm dry spot somewhere in the safest room of the house – the room least exposed to windows.
3. Make sure you have your collar with id on, in case you get separated from your humans.
4. Don’t get too spooked and start barking, everyone will be nervous enough.

I’ll be keeping my paws crossed for the folks  and critters up the east coast! Stay safe!!!!!!