May 26, 2011 § 2 Comments
Wow! I think the coast is clear!! The visiting “critters” are gone and my world getting is back to normal now. I had heard mama talking for weeks about some “nephew” thingies coming to our house, and something called “babysitting” that she couldn’t WAIT to do. Sounded kinda fun, but I had NOOOOO idea my world was about to …
I tell you it was like an invasion from outer space! They came with all these strange contraptions I’d never seen before – inflatable beds (very unstable if you ask me, I rolled right off!), inflatable bathtubs, an all-terrain vehicle called a “stroller” (watch out!), and a throne/mission control seat referred to as the “high chair.” From this “high chair” whenever the nephew “called,” all my peeps would scramble to serve and bring him food offerings. He seemed to be the one in charge of this whole takeover.
And you tell me. How come when they make stinky “presents” for Mama she laughs and plays with them while she cleans that up? She doesn’t think my surprises are that funny and cute! And trust me those were some real stiiiiiiinkers! The whole house smelled funky. What ARE those guys eating?!?!
Oh, and the apparent mind control power that those “nephews” have over my humans was unbelievable!! None of my favorite and usually fail-proof tricks seemed to work to gain me some attention, chicos. Oh no, no, no. They were all too busy chasing after those critters – playing with their toys, feeding them funny smelling “formulas” (that must be their secret power potion), giving them baths and talking in some strange language called “baby talk.” I have enough troubles trying to decipher human lingo. Now I was really lost.
And as for my Mama’s lap … GONE!!! Or should I say permanently occupied! Mi casa is NOT su casa, amigos!!
But the worst was the sleeping arrangements. No one seemed to be in their proper beds – my girl was on a couch, my boy on the other sofa and Mama kept changing rooms and going to sleep with the wiggly critter nephews. And I was unceremoniously shooed out of the rooms and left to sleep on the doggie bed! What?!?! No warm Mama to cuddle with?! Noooooooooooo …
Well, now they have moved on to the next part of their “visit” – the beach. I mean the nephew critters were cute – giggles, squeals and all – but I need my planet back to normal – where I am the princess AND in charge! Hrmph!! Mama was a little sad when they left, but I was not entirely sorry to see their humans come back to get them and ALL their gear. Heh, heh, their mothership was bursting at the seams when they pulled away.
I managed to take a picture before they blasted away so I could report them to NASA. You be on the lookout, amigos!!
April 7, 2011 § Leave a comment
Mama says I’m kinda cranky. She has actually accused me of being anti-social. I say, nay! I only feel the urge to bark annoyingly at bigger … I mean taller dogs. Those show-offs who like to lumber about and outpace me when they walk around MY neighborhood. I’m very outgoing, friendly and curious with fellow petites. But I don’t like to upset Mama or let her down. So I thought I’d dig deep into my psyche (though I realize this could take quite a while considering the enormity of my intellect) and honestly examine my seemingly fickle motivations.
Is my height a funny joke by the masters of fate. Was I intended to be as mighty as a lion? As noble a beast as a horse? Or as fearsome and awe-inspiring as a bear? Well, I certainly feel that way! Don’t get me wrong. I know and appreciate that I AM a perfect, if diminutive work of art. A marvel of precision and efficiency in machinery. A wonder of high technology.
But then I thought … could it be that I am really resentful about my “shortcomings”? Eeeeek, could I actually be feeling threatened? Am I just insecure and a bit jealous of other canines who might be trying to catch my Mama’s eye?
But no, Chicos! It isn’t like that!! I INSIST I am a champion of justice – descendant from a long line of fierce royal guard dogs. Like my forefathers, I am merely accustomed to the proper homage that my familia has been receiving since the time of the mighty Mayans. For goodness sake, Chicos! We guarded kings and queens of incredible civilizations, patrolled the inexplicable New World pyramids! Those catos and jackals once revered in Egypt’s pyramids toooootally lost their cool with the end of the pharaohs, while we remained members of royal families around the world for centuries to come. Chihuahuas are just looking for some modern-day respect.
Mama, to you I say, I am just misunderstood. I am simply proud and in charge! And any inconsistencies in my behavior are to remind others of my honorary stature. And because I like to keep all my peeps guessing – it adds to the mystery that is me and the effectiveness of my surveillance techniques.
So take any complaints to the BIG Guy upstairs. He knew what he was doing when he made me 😉
January 12, 2011 § Leave a comment
In keeping with the positive thoughts and hopes for the new year, Mom decided to work on something called a “vision” poster. I didn’t really know what it was all about, but I figured I’d get into this arts and crafts project with her so we could spend some quality time together. Besides, Mom seemed kind of excited about it, and in my world this level of excitement is usually associated with food, so I thought there might be something yummy in it for me.
So I used my mind-reading powers on her and picked up some bits and pieces. I think you’re basically supposed to think about things that you would like to see happen in your life — dreams, wishes, goals. Then you find pretty peeeeectures of those things in magazines, cut them out and put together a “big” picture to inspire you. Oh, my chicos, I could soooooooo get into this!!
So while Mom was day dreaming about spending more time with the family, world travel and having her own creative freelance business, I thought up some grand ideas of my own:
1. I wanted to start by wishing for happy homes for all my pet amigos out there who need families. I’m a very lucky, Chica. Friends, if you don’t have a pet in your life, consider pet adoption – I promise it will be an awesome journey on a two-way street full of love. Let’s all help spread the word.
2. Then, rather than chasing the fountain of youth, I’d like to look into a fountain of perpetual Cheerios. Just imagine it — beautiful golden Cheerios raining down on me … cascading … sprinkling through the air. What a beautiful vision indeed. Maybe there could even be one in every home. Now, wouldn’t that make the world a better place 😉
3. Next, I figured I could use a jet-setting, special Chihuahua passport so I can travel with Mama. If she’s looking to have more travel in her life, this Princess needs her proper documentation. I no likey when she has to leave me behind. Ugh, shudder at the thought. And besides, I’d love to be able to visit some of my facebook friends from all over the world. Oh, and of course, I’ll be needing some matching luggage then.
4. It would be simply lovely to have my own massage therapist. Well, actually just Mom as my dedicated belly and noggin scratcher. All this exciting new creative work in her life will mean I have to share her attention. In my perfect world, Mom would have assistants to type up our blog posts, work on our social outreach and help with the production of her other works and designs. Maybe we could get one of those nice iPads to oversee things while she and I snuggle comfortably on the couch. Ooooo, ooooo, and we could also use it to Skype with our kids when they are off to college. I’d really like that. I miss our chicos too much.
5. OK, so I have to include one guilty pleasure — maybe just a leeeetle bliiiiiiiiiing!!!! And of course, muchos haute couture pretty dresses for the Chica to accessorize.
6. Finally, I can picture stardom in my life. SERIOUSLY!! All this cuteness can no longer be kept a secret. This Princess was NOT meant to remain an undiscovered treasure. It is Hollywood for me, Baby!
OK, that sounds about right to start the year. But I of course reserve the right to upgrade. Heh, heh. Now here is my fabulous masterpiece. What do you think?
June 13, 2010 § 1 Comment
I’m not too sure about this arrangement. Before my so-called “little sister” came along, I got all the lap time, the belly scratches, the adoring kisses, and the morsels when turkey sandwiches were being made. Now this yippy (yes, though mom would deny it, I think my pesky sister is yippy!) intruder is trying to usurp my throne! Hey! I AM the king of this jungle, kid!!
“Yip, yip,” and she gets taken out. “Yip, yip, yip,” and she gets fed. “Yip, yip, whine, whine,” and she gets treats. It is only Cheerios which I’d hardly consider edible, but it is the notion that irks. Oh, and one whimper, and it is all the belly rubs, she wants!!!
And with all the attention this pest is getting, my all-powerful silent stares just don’t have the irresistible manipulative effects they once had. They have lost some of their umph! Don’t mess with the master, chiquita! For now, just know I’m keeping my eye on you, sneaky one. You will fall!!
But, worry not, my feline enthusiasts, in the meantime I think I may have stumbled upon something to re- establish some order around here. If I position myself just right between her and the way to mom’s bedroom, I can make her shake and whimper. He-he!! I don’t have to do another thing, just be my imposing self and lay there “innocently.” Ha!! She has to call Mom to come and get her (picture my evil gloat here!) You’d think she was expecting a surprise attack or something, wink, wink.
I told you, chica. Don’t get too comfortable. You know what they say out there in the wild, “just when you least expect it … EXPECT IT!!!!