Re-training Mom

April 25, 2014 § Leave a comment


image

As I mentioned, Mom is now freelancing full-time as a graphic artist and web designer. But after years of trying to balance both a job and all the side stuff, she is really having to work at adjust to this new lifestyle. Don’t tell anyone, but she does a lot of walking around talking to herself and asking things like “what was I going to do next?” and “where did I leave my phone?” She is, como se dice, discombobulated. Look it up. I just added her picture on Wikipedia for clarification. But don’t tell her that either.

So ultra perceptive Chica that I am, I figured this was a great opportunity to turn into MY opportunity. You see, Mom has been muy busy for a couple of years trying to build up her business. And well, I don’t feel I have been appropriately pampered in the meantime. Mucho work = muy poco time for the Chica. Ah, it seems like ages, but I still remember the days of pretty dresses and fashion shows, public outings where I signed autographs and visited with my fans. Oh, and the treats! The treats that came so easily just for pure cuteness. I never had to jump through so many hoops, stare so intensely and incessantly at her noggin to get through to her, or come up with ever more clever ways to get a certain distracted someone’s attention as I’ve had to these past year and a half.

But, Chicos, it is a new day, isn’t it. (Bwahahaha!!! Insert villainous laugh here.) And here is how I see it going, de aqui pa’lante:

  1. Open eyes = rub my tummy and tell me what a precious princess I am. (Please allow a 1/2 hour minimum)
  2. Get up, (yes, you may grab your slippers if you must) then carry me to the kitchen to serve me breakfast first.
  3. Cafe, no doubt, but go ahead and start getting my Cheerios ready while you wait. You know I need my fiber to maintain este cuerpo.
  4. Lanai time to commune with nature. I get the lap to oversee the operations; cats get the lizards. (Please allow a 1/2 hour minimum)
  5. Dishes, email, blah-blah-blah … then mid-morning snack! I can get the catos to help with this one. They are simple-minded, easy to train creatures of habit like my human. I already have them stalking her in the kitchen and tackling her if she does not comply.
  6. Mom works, I get nappy time 🙂
  7. Lunch time = more snacks for moi. Carrots and oh, I don’t know, maybe nibbles of what ever you are eating. A chica’s work is never done. She did say she wanted to lose a couple of pounds 😉 didn’t she?
  8. More cafe, more lap time. Mom needs to learn to pace herself. (Please allow a 1/2 hour minimum)
  9. OK, back to work, but first I need to be tenderly propped on my sidekick-ottoman next to her computer chair and appropriately wrapped in my fluffy blanket. From there I conduct my eyes-closed “surveillance” duty, policing any movement along the casa. It is part of my Jedi Chica training. No questions, ask you may.
  10. Catos usually get a little pesky sometime around mid-afternoon, so Mom must let them back out to the lanai for more “hunting” practice (like the lizards don’t have it figured out by now). Silly cats. But we all get some fresh air. Que nice.
  11. More work, with regular petting of my belly. But by 5:30pm, my belly is too stimulated and starts to demand more attention. Is it dinner time? No? Well, I disagree. Please serve.
  12. 5:45, Dad gets home. But he may not realize I have already eaten. (Bwahahaha!!! Insert villainous laugh here too.)
  13. Around 6:30 I give them a break so they can eat. But I always offer to help “clean up” 😉
  14. Walk time!!!!! Much more on that to come, but suffice it to say that there are always treats after I “do” what I am supposed to “do” outside like a good Chica.
  15. 7:30pm, humans getting old now, will settle for DVR shows and a quiet evening =  unlimited lap time until I get carried off to bed.

Not a bad day’s work is it? Let me know if you need any tips on human conditioning training. Always glad to help my amigos.

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College “Move In” Day is tomorrow?!?!?!?!?!?

August 15, 2011 § Leave a comment


What? My boy is off to college tomorrow? But I am not ready!!!

  • Not enough belly scratches.
  • Not enough behind-the-ears scratches.
  • Not enough haunches scratchings.
  • And definitely, oh most definitely, NOT ENOUGH KISSES!!

I will miss you, my chico. And I will be waiting patiently for your return. Love,

Your favorite girlfriend,

Chanelly

 

La Chihuahua and the empty nesters

July 23, 2011 § 5 Comments


Chanel the chihuahua just full of chihuahua wisdom

The way I see it.

Big things are afoot at mi casa. Mom and the kids have been going in and out a lot. The bags and boxes are piling up all around us. Remind me to file a complaint – Tigger has waaaaay too many new perches from which to pounce on me now. But seriously, I was worried for a while. I didn’t know what all of it meant. And you know the Chica has to be in the know!! I have a nervous disposition.

And the big humans started talking about an “empty nest.” What is that? I like our nest because it is NOT empty. It is just right!

Then, under cover of dark, el Cato and I started investigating (OK, so we were peeking and snooping) into these unopened packages. We started putting two and two together …

a “printer” (Strange contraptions, those. One can be casually walking past and Bam! They start to spit papers out.) …

a small TV (But we already have one, don’t we?) …

a microwave …

Oh, oh! I think we’ve figured it out! I suddenly remembered the first time this happened when our girl, the oldest, started collecting stuff for her new “place.” Not that there was anything wrong with her room right here at home. I love hanging out in there with her. Yet, it seemed like fun stuff at first – new obstacles to run around and climb over. Ha, ha, ha … WooHoo!! But then they took her off to college. The boxes went away and she was gone for soooooo long. No more fun 😦

So now you’re telling me that both of the kids are going to go off to college! Our boy, the best belly scratcher in the place, is going away too?!?!?!? No one asked ME for permission! Someone call the authorities! I definitely NO likey!

Hrmph … they have not heard the last of me on this!!!

Happy Papa’s Day

June 18, 2011 § Leave a comment


I am a very lucky chica. I have a great human family – Mama, you know her well by now; my girl and my boy, great belly scratchers whenever they are home; and last but never least, my Papa.

When he picks me up like a football – gently, but securely tucked into the crook of his arm – well, I feel like I’m on top of the world. From way up here, I know I’m safe and sound. When Mama and the kids are not looking, he spoils me with bits of chicken and turkey. Though then he blames my less than petite waistline on Mama indulging me. And though he is not entirely comfortable taking me on walks by himself (he worries about his manly image with the neighbors) he never skips a chance to go with me AND Mama around the block.

So on this special weekend for fathers everywhere, I’d like to tell you, mis amigos, a little bit about our very special love.

Me and my Papa …

we love to eat “our” dinner on the snack tables flipping through the TV channels – well, he does. I just love snarfing up the crumbs 😉

we love to watch the movies together with Mama – he snores, I snore AND wiggle.

we love to bury ourselves deep under the warm blankets – muy nice and cozy, if a little crowded.

we love to cook a special meal now and again and take over the kitchen with style and “flair” – mainly, again, I love the side benefits: mucho crumbs.

But most of all, we love each other. I’m his little squeaker, he is my giant hero (he eeez muy tall you see.) So today and every day, I’d like to say Happy Papa’s Day to the best Daddy ever! (And watch out, ’cause I will eat YOU up with keeeesses today.)

Heh, heh! This is me taking a nap inside of Papa's pajama pants. Shhhhh ... 😉

And to Coco, my original Papi: XOXOXOXO!! A beeeeg piece of my leeeettle heart is yours forever.

Chihuahua world invaded by the visiting “critters”

May 26, 2011 § 2 Comments


Wow! I think the coast is clear!! The visiting “critters” are gone and my world getting is back to normal now. I had heard mama talking for weeks about some “nephew” thingies coming to our house, and something called “babysitting” that she couldn’t WAIT to do. Sounded kinda fun, but I had NOOOOO idea my world was about to …

I tell you it was like an invasion from outer space! They came with all these strange contraptions I’d never seen before – inflatable beds (very unstable if you ask me, I rolled right off!), inflatable bathtubs, an all-terrain vehicle called a “stroller” (watch out!), and a throne/mission control seat referred to as the “high chair.” From this “high chair” whenever the nephew “called,” all my peeps would scramble to serve and bring him food offerings. He seemed to be the one in charge of this whole takeover.

And you tell me. How come when they make stinky “presents” for Mama she laughs and plays with them while she cleans that up? She doesn’t think my surprises are that funny and cute! And trust me those were some real stiiiiiiinkers! The whole house smelled funky. What ARE those guys eating?!?!

Oh, and the apparent mind control power that those “nephews” have over my humans was unbelievable!! None of my favorite and usually fail-proof tricks seemed to work to gain me some attention, chicos. Oh no, no, no. They were all too busy chasing after those critters – playing with their toys, feeding them funny smelling “formulas” (that must be their secret power potion), giving them baths and talking in some strange language called “baby talk.” I have enough troubles trying to decipher human lingo. Now I was really lost.

And as for my Mama’s lap … GONE!!! Or should I say permanently occupied! Mi casa is NOT su casa, amigos!!

But the worst was the sleeping arrangements. No one seemed to be in their proper beds – my girl was on a couch, my boy on the other sofa and Mama kept changing rooms and going to sleep with the wiggly critter nephews. And I was unceremoniously shooed out of the rooms and left to sleep on the doggie bed! What?!?! No warm Mama to cuddle with?! Noooooooooooo …

Well, now they have moved on to the next part of their “visit” – the beach. I mean the nephew critters were cute – giggles, squeals and all – but I need my planet back to normal – where I am the princess AND in charge! Hrmph!! Mama was a little sad when they left, but I was not entirely sorry to see their humans come back to get them and ALL their gear. Heh, heh, their mothership was bursting at the seams when they pulled away.

I managed to take a picture before they blasted away so I could report them to NASA. You be on the lookout, amigos!!

Mama's nephews

Chihuahua tongue malfunction

April 27, 2011 § Leave a comment


Mama thinks there might be something wrong with my tongue. It seems there is a switch – the one that turns on when my tummy gets scratches – which gets stuck in that on position.

Chanel the Chihuahua does the irresistible belly-flip

Killer move - the flip over helpless

Once she starts to scratch my belly and I start to tip over sideways in utter contentment … ahhhhhh, I just can’t stop kissing on her. Kiss-kiss-kiss-kiss-kiss … the Energizer bunny has nothing on me. I could go on like this forever! From the  human perspective, of course, it looks and feels more like lick-lick-lick-sluuuuuuuurp-lick.

So eventually she says, “yuck. Stop it, Chanelly, I am not a lollipop!” Lollipop? I have no idea what you’re talking about. I assure you I’m not thinking that. From the puppy perspective, it feels more like savoring a delightful tender slab of prime steaky. Both fine delicacies one can easily confuse  😉

But seriously, there is no  “malfunction.” I admit lose focus in my state of belly-sctatching ecstasy. In my defense, I say she just gets sweeter with age and I just can’t get enough of my Mama. Sorry, Chica! No exchanges, no refunds on chihuahua merchandise. Just love.

Easter morning with the chihuahua

April 24, 2011 § 1 Comment


Mama woke up this morning saying, “Easter is not as much fun now that the kids are all grown up! Sigh …” So while she went to make coffee and some breakfast, I went off quietly to make an Easter something hunt just for her 🙂 I can be sneaky that way.

*  *  *

And later that morning …

Oh, Mamaaaa … You getting up? Where are your slippers? They were just there? Hmmmm … 😉 No, I don’t have any idea how they ended up in that planter.

Hmmm, where DID you leave that book you were reading?  What? Under the bed? Now, how did that happen?

Your reading glasses? Geez, I have no … Oooops, imagine that. In my bowl. Go figure!

What’s that? You can’t find the TV remote?  Let’s see … wait, what is that sticking out from under the couch? Goodness me.

Heh, heh, nooooo, I haven’t seen the cat in a while either.  Do I hear some muffled sounds coming from the hamper? Ahhh, maybe …

Oh, and the Cheerios? (Looking at her with a straight face 🙂 as she walks towards me.) You are getting hotter … now hotter … really HOT!  Ahhh … (burp!) … yup, they are in my belly! Scratchy, scratchy, please 🙂

* * *

Later, after a good long snuggle session with all favorite peeps …

I’m thinking, nope, that Easter bunny is not the only one that knows how to have fun with the humans. Happy Easter!!

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