Re-training Mom

As I mentioned, Mom is now freelancing full-time as a graphic artist and web designer. But after years of trying to balance both a job and all the side stuff, she is really having to work at adjust to this new lifestyle. Don’t tell anyone, but she does a lot of walking around talking to herself and asking things like “what was I going to do next?” and “where did I leave my phone?” She is, como se dice, discombobulated. Look it up. I just added her picture on Wikipedia for clarification. But don’t tell her that either.

So ultra perceptive Chica that I am, I figured this was a great opportunity to turn into MY opportunity. You see, Mom has been muy busy for a couple of years trying to build up her business. And well, I don’t feel I have been appropriately pampered in the meantime. Mucho work = muy poco time for the Chica. Ah, it seems like ages, but I still remember the days of pretty dresses and fashion shows, public outings where I signed autographs and visited with my fans. Oh, and the treats! The treats that came so easily just for pure cuteness. I never had to jump through so many hoops, stare so intensely and incessantly at her noggin to get through to her, or come up with ever more clever ways to get a certain distracted someone’s attention as I’ve had to these past year and a half.

But, Chicos, it is a new day, isn’t it. (Bwahahaha!!! Insert villainous laugh here.) And here is how I see it going, de aqui pa’lante:

1. Open eyes = rub my tummy and tell me what a precious princess I am. (Please allow a 1/2 hour minimum)
2. Get up, (yes, you may grab your slippers if you must) then carry me to the kitchen to serve me breakfast first.
3. Cafe, no doubt, but go ahead and start getting my Cheerios ready while you wait. You know I need my fiber to maintain este cuerpo.
4. Lanai time to commune with nature. I get the lap to oversee the operations; cats get the lizards. (Please allow a 1/2 hour minimum)
5. Dishes, email, blah-blah-blah … then mid-morning snack! I can get the catos to help with this one. They are simple-minded, easy to train creatures of habit like my human. I already have them stalking her in the kitchen and tackling her if she does not comply.
6. Mom works, I get nappy time 🙂
7. Lunch time = more snacks for moi. Carrots and oh, I don’t know, maybe nibbles of what ever you are eating. A chica’s work is never done. She did say she wanted to lose a couple of pounds 😉 didn’t she?
8. More cafe, more lap time. Mom needs to learn to pace herself. (Please allow a 1/2 hour minimum)
9. OK, back to work, but first I need to be tenderly propped on my sidekick-ottoman next to her computer chair and appropriately wrapped in my fluffy blanket. From there I conduct my eyes-closed “surveillance” duty, policing any movement along the casa. It is part of my Jedi Chica training. No questions, ask you may.
10. Catos usually get a little pesky sometime around mid-afternoon, so Mom must let them back out to the lanai for more “hunting” practice (like the lizards don’t have it figured out by now). Silly cats. But we all get some fresh air. Que nice.
11. More work, with regular petting of my belly. But by 5:30pm, my belly is too stimulated and starts to demand more attention. Is it dinner time? No? Well, I disagree. Please serve.
12. 5:45, Dad gets home. But he may not realize I have already eaten. (Bwahahaha!!! Insert villainous laugh here too.)
13. Around 6:30 I give them a break so they can eat. But I always offer to help “clean up” 😉
14. Walk time!!!!! Much more on that to come, but suffice it to say that there are always treats after I “do” what I am supposed to “do” outside like a good Chica.
15. 7:30pm, humans getting old now, will settle for DVR shows and a quiet evening =  unlimited lap time until I get carried off to bed.

Not a bad day’s work is it? Let me know if you need any tips on human conditioning training. Always glad to help my amigos.

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College “Move In” Day is tomorrow?!?!?!?!?!?

What? My boy is off to college tomorrow? But I am not ready!!!

• Not enough belly scratches.
• Not enough behind-the-ears scratches.
• Not enough haunches scratchings.
• And definitely, oh most definitely, NOT ENOUGH KISSES!!

I will miss you, my chico. And I will be waiting patiently for your return. Love,

Your favorite girlfriend,

Chanelly

 

La Chihuahua and the empty nesters

The way I see it.

Big things are afoot at mi casa. Mom and the kids have been going in and out a lot. The bags and boxes are piling up all around us. Remind me to file a complaint – Tigger has waaaaay too many new perches from which to pounce on me now. But seriously, I was worried for a while. I didn’t know what all of it meant. And you know the Chica has to be in the know!! I have a nervous disposition.

And the big humans started talking about an “empty nest.” What is that? I like our nest because it is NOT empty. It is just right!

Then, under cover of dark, el Cato and I started investigating (OK, so we were peeking and snooping) into these unopened packages. We started putting two and two together …

a “printer” (Strange contraptions, those. One can be casually walking past and Bam! They start to spit papers out.) …

a small TV (But we already have one, don’t we?) …

a microwave …

Oh, oh! I think we’ve figured it out! I suddenly remembered the first time this happened when our girl, the oldest, started collecting stuff for her new “place.” Not that there was anything wrong with her room right here at home. I love hanging out in there with her. Yet, it seemed like fun stuff at first – new obstacles to run around and climb over. Ha, ha, ha … WooHoo!! But then they took her off to college. The boxes went away and she was gone for soooooo long. No more fun 😦

So now you’re telling me that both of the kids are going to go off to college! Our boy, the best belly scratcher in the place, is going away too?!?!?!? No one asked ME for permission! Someone call the authorities! I definitely NO likey!

Hrmph … they have not heard the last of me on this!!!