Oh, sure! Thank you very much, Señor Volkswagen!

Quick! I need some ayuda, chicos!! I have to come up with some seriously effective diversion tactics during Sunday’s Superbowl, and PRONTO! Mama is not really following either of the teams playing, but she is planning to watch the game “for the commercials” while keeping her iPad handy with a good book in case the game gets boring.

But I just saw the Volkswagen followup commercial to the one of the cute “Vader kid with the force” and I might just have an Empire-sized problem here. This slightly chubby Chica is in mucho trouble if my humans see the “dog fitness” program in that ad!

I AM on a new fitness program, all naps aside. And I don’t mind the fetching and the running notion. That can be fun. But the giant ball yoga, the swimming and God forbid, not being able to snack on the little somethings that drop on the kitchen floor?!?! Are you crrrraaazzie?

Hurry, amigos! Send help. I only have 4 days to come up with an arsenal of ingenious distractions to make sure Mama won’t see this and get any ideas 😮

Chihuahuas on the Huff Post’s Adorable Or Ugly pets photo gallery?!?!?!

So the Huff Post had the audacity to include this noble breed in an “Adorable Or Ugly? Controversial Pets And Wild Animals” photo gallery a few days ago. Hrmph! How dare they?!?!?!?! There need be no pondering on this issue!

Oh, I take offense! And on sooooooo many levels:

photo: Huffington Post

1. Chihuahuas are Number 2 on the list?!?!?!?! I am no second banana, ever!

2. “Faithful, adorable companion” OR “the quivering sidekick“?!?!?!?! I do not “quiver.” I have a unique method of maintaining body temperature. Self sufficient and very green, if you ask me!

3. And a mere “sidekick”?!?!?!?! I AM The Princess, I’ll have you know!

4. Ahhhh … “sidekick of obnoxious blonds everywhere”?!?!?!?! Whatcha talking about? Don’t you mess with my Mama!! Those artfully conceived highlights or hers are haute coifure, Amigo!

5. And lastly, but not least, to be included among a pangolin (whatever the heck that is), mole rats and God forbid, a Sphynx cat?!?!?!?!

Chicos, the way I see it, this means war!!!!! Obviously they tried to get away with this outrage while Mom was out of town and I could not post my vehement objections. But let it be known to all those responsible that they have now incurred the wrath of one ticked-off Chihuahua Princess! Beware, I have muchos cousins, Amigos. Your ankles are now fair game! Terror alert, POSTED!