What’s a Chica got to do …

June 2, 2012 § 2 Comments


20120602-142310.jpg

So by now, as in most households suffering from the condition, the empty nest syndrome has been alleviated at casa Chanel. Joy, oh joy, for sure! I was quite loca when my kids came home. First Ryan early in May, with some fabulous back scratching abilities to make up for his absence. He must have taken some new college course in the art of pleasing the Chihuahua, because I am in la-la-heaven. Then Dani, in mid May, always great at lounging and catching up on this season’s TV series which she’d missed during the crazy school/dance schedule. She needs her rest, and I need my long lazy hours of cuddling with her in bed.

But then, way too soon my princess bubble burst. First the familia left me, with some very nice Chica sitters, I must acknowledge, while they all went on a fabulous Western Caribbean cruise. Alright, I admit the necessary quarantine period to join them on the voyage would nave been out of the question for this princess. Pero, DANG!!! They even went to the motherland – Mejico! AND, they were gone for a whole week and didn’t even bring me back one stinkin’ frijol! Que pasa, chicos?

And now they are back, nice and tan, enjoying the summer and spending time with the college kids while many of my walks are falling by the wayside. HELLOOOOOO! I no theeeeek so, mis amigos. I WILL be making myself quite clear. You just wait for announcements on the 6 o’clock newscasts. I must remind them that La Chica is number one ALL the time, not just when we are lonely and missing the kids.

What’s a Chica got to do to get some respect around here.

Advertisements

Spring grooming tips for (from) the Chihuahua

April 29, 2012 § 2 Comments


Ahhh, to spoil the spoiled. That is what life should be about. There is way too much human time spent on work, chores and errands, if you ask me. A better and much more enjoyable spring “cleaning” day in dog-topia would look something like this:

1. Open eyes, pet the Chihuahua’s belly. Gently please, she has just woken up.
2. Rise (only after the Chihuahua cuddle and love morning session has been satisfied) stretch and go prepare a scrumptious breakfast with a side of Cheerios for the Princess. Yes, you are allowed to make your cafecito at this time as well. This promises to be a long day.
3. Short nap. As my Abuela always said, one must wait 20 minutes after eating before going in the water. You run the risk of having a “pa-ta-tu” and dropping dead on the spot. Cuidado, chicos!
4. You might as well take the Princess for an early walk so she won’t get all dirty after her nice bubble bath. Treat should follow as per usual.
5. Run said nice warm bubble bath. Mama always puts a drop of lavender essential oil in mine to soothe the nerves. Gently lower the less than cooperative Chihuahua into the water. She’ll likely (eventually) acquiesce.
6. Have fluffy plush towel ready (preferably warmed in the drier) for when the shivering drippy Chihuahua gets out of the tub (ah, ok, sink).
7. Thoroughly knead the Chica’s fur to a perfect fluff, removing excess water. He/she will still shake, rattle and roll and get you all wet (a little payback is to be expected), but will dry quicker with a little help.
8. Many soothing compliments and a treat for the Precious are in order.
9. Though this part might require a sedative, a trip to the groomer for nail clipping, quickly followed by many more treats to help the Chihuahua forget the traumatic experience, will complete the spring cleaning effort. I would not recommend teeth cleaning at this juncture. You’d be doing so at your own risk.
10. Much praise and love should be showered (figuratively, please) on the “nice, clean, pretty girl.”

Please understand the lack of cooperation in picture taking sessions. Good luck and may the Fuerza be with you!

Chihuahua skips a beat

April 25, 2012 § 1 Comment


Well it had to happen. I don’t know if this had anything to do with the doomsday 2012 predictions of the Mayan Calendar. Maybe this is what they were referring to as the “end of the world.” But finally (dramatic pause … ), the Chica – your reason to log onto the internet, the light of your life, the spring in your step, your icon of all that is beautiful and desirable – has had her “less than photogenic” day. And of course, the paparazzi (Mama) was there to capture the inglorious moment. So go ahead, have your giggle:

20120424-203907.jpg

You done yet? Go ahead. Enjoy the moment.

Hey, it keeps me humble. Balances the chi, the spiritual laws of fairness, and the karma. God knows I don’t want to come back any smaller next time in the food chain! From Cleopatra to Chihuahua, precious though I might be, I think I have some stuff to work out with the universe while I’m here.

And who knows. I’ve heard say that we “learn” from every experience in our lives. That everything is as intended and for our ultimate growth and greater good. So I’m going with that. After all, I am still making you smile today. It IS all good.

Chihuahuas may be creatures of habit, but this lizard is an idiot

March 19, 2012 § 1 Comment


This week during my afternoon walks, while I performed my regular neighborhood inspection as big-kahuna-head-honcho-brava-sherrif in the barrio, I noticed a particular lawn ornament with a little something extra. I notice everything, of course, keen observer that I am. So after about the third day in a row of this spectacle, I thought to myself: Seriously? Everyday, same place, same time? I know I demand my feedings, walks and belly scratching sessions on my carefully crafted schedule. I am a creature of excellent habits. But what you are up to is just stupid amigo.

I’m not an alpha predator, more of an alpha female by natural selection and proud of it. Still I noticed you there without even trying, chico!

20120312-201853.jpg

With you so clearly standing near the bottom of the ole food chain, are you really going to flaunt yourself on a regular basis like that? It’s just too easy.

Trust me, pal. As a petite little brown morsel who might be confused with a squirrel from 40 feet up in the air, I know what I’m talking about. And who could blame them. I’m irresistible! So I make mucho noise and stay on guard when I’m out and about. You need a little more strategy, dude. There are muchos big birds in our land of paradise. I advice you to keep lively. I love to bask in the sun too, but mix it up a bit. Keep them guessing.

Well, we’ll see how this turns out. For now, I’ve decided to call my lizard friend Pedro – not muy swift, but steady as a rock 😉 I’ll keep an eye out for my new amigo, but with all those big hungry birds around these here parts, I theeenk he better say his prayers or stay on his toes. High noon and a nice caliente juicy lizard spells LUNCH!

Chihuahua Contributions to Nature (rated G)

March 15, 2012 § Leave a comment


No, my Mama has not lost her senses (not entirely) with that headline. Even she will admit not everything I do on our afternoon walks is adorable. But this little contribution on my part to help the birds and the bees in their spring effort is worth sharing here.

As you all know, we have had an unusual spring season, even for Florida. More of a Wintring. And the confused oak trees are pollinating early and como loco ’round the hood. I assure you, with my height “advantage” I’m the perfect authority to report on the phenomenon. There are record HEAPS of pollen collecting on the ground. Weeeeee! (runs around and breaks into song: “The street gutters are aliveeeeeee, with the mounds of pohhhhh-llennnnnn … La, la, la laaaaaa!”)

But while I’m having fun frolicking through the fluffy yellow mess, it’s not so much fun for my poor human. Let’s just say those are not just doggy ____ bags in Mama’s pocket when we go out these days. (Insider trade tip: Buy stock in Kleenex and/or Puff tissues!!) Muchos tissues EVERYWHERE for Mama. She is a sneezing menace when we take our walks. No matter what expert stealth techniques I try to use, and I have many, I can’t even sneak up on a stupid squirrel – they hear us coming a mile away.

As for La Chica, no adverse allergy effects to report. The pollen and the sneezing just seems to make me giddy. So here is a little film clip to cheer Mama and all the allergy sufferers out there. I like to title it: Viva la Spring Loca! (Subtitle: Spreading the love and the pollen all over tha’ place and the couch. Ole!)

Pollen giddy Chihuahua

Springy chihuahua days

March 12, 2012 § Leave a comment


Spring has to be one of my favorite seasons. We can finally ditch those awful itchy sweaters Mama thinks I look so “cute” in! (grrrrrrrrrrr) I’m a true beauty. I prefer to go au naturale 😉

20120312-104241.jpg
“The Beauty 😉 and the Beach”

Mama has a renewed spring in her Spring steps which means more walks para la Chica. There is extra pollen for the natural spring cleaning (of the nostrils … achoo!!!) The birds and the bees and all the pesky lizards are out and about so I’m exercising my dulcet tones and springing into chihuahua pounce action “for fitness.”

Spring veggies, spring clovers, spring chicken (OK, so I’m interpreting with my tummy’s interests I mind. But I looooooove cheeeeeeekin!) What’s there not to like about SPRING. Get out there chicos, and enjoy. I say losing one hour of sleep is no problema. The extra vitamin E will charge you up. Arriba, arriba, vamonos!

Mama says the Chihuahua is a little “pushy”? I don’t beg, but I do differ!!

February 21, 2012 § 5 Comments


Chanel the ChihuahuaWisdom Diva "talks"Moi? Oh, no-no-no, Chica! “Assertive” or maybe “naturally confident” would be a fairer description. If you check my contract (ahem, again), you’ll see my “entitlements” clearly listed – Princess in residence will have her way. But let’s be reasonable. Think of it. This little noggin can only hold sooooo much greatness. I must express my amazing mind. It is never good to staunch the gift of a creative genius or hold one’s feelings inside. (Isn’t that the point of this blog?)

So, Mama, don’t judge. Simply accept the little gift that is ME. To make it easier for you to understand my “terms,” let us review un poco:

  • one short loud bark = “Hello?!?!?! Pay attention, please.”
  • whine, whine = “Walk time, NOW!”
  • whine, bark = “Treat? Or to be more precise: TREAT!!”
  • yip, yip, stamping of feet = “Sit down, woman. It is lap time.”
  • snort, snort, hrmph = “OK, OK. The Cato can sit on your lap too.”
  • whine, whine, grrrrrrrrrrrr… = “Time for bed already, chica. Let’s go!”
  • whine, whine, push push = “I’m going under the blanket NOW so move over.”

You see? I DO make myself quite clear, Mama. You listen, life is peachy. I am not pushy, I am a Chihuahua — short, sweet and to the point!

%d bloggers like this: