Re-training Mom

April 25, 2014 § Leave a comment


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As I mentioned, Mom is now freelancing full-time as a graphic artist and web designer. But after years of trying to balance both a job and all the side stuff, she is really having to work at adjust to this new lifestyle. Don’t tell anyone, but she does a lot of walking around talking to herself and asking things like “what was I going to do next?” and “where did I leave my phone?” She is, como se dice, discombobulated. Look it up. I just added her picture on Wikipedia for clarification. But don’t tell her that either.

So ultra perceptive Chica that I am, I figured this was a great opportunity to turn into MY opportunity. You see, Mom has been muy busy for a couple of years trying to build up her business. And well, I don’t feel I have been appropriately pampered in the meantime. Mucho work = muy poco time for the Chica. Ah, it seems like ages, but I still remember the days of pretty dresses and fashion shows, public outings where I signed autographs and visited with my fans. Oh, and the treats! The treats that came so easily just for pure cuteness. I never had to jump through so many hoops, stare so intensely and incessantly at her noggin to get through to her, or come up with ever more clever ways to get a certain distracted someone’s attention as I’ve had to these past year and a half.

But, Chicos, it is a new day, isn’t it. (Bwahahaha!!! Insert villainous laugh here.) And here is how I see it going, de aqui pa’lante:

  1. Open eyes = rub my tummy and tell me what a precious princess I am. (Please allow a 1/2 hour minimum)
  2. Get up, (yes, you may grab your slippers if you must) then carry me to the kitchen to serve me breakfast first.
  3. Cafe, no doubt, but go ahead and start getting my Cheerios ready while you wait. You know I need my fiber to maintain este cuerpo.
  4. Lanai time to commune with nature. I get the lap to oversee the operations; cats get the lizards. (Please allow a 1/2 hour minimum)
  5. Dishes, email, blah-blah-blah … then mid-morning snack! I can get the catos to help with this one. They are simple-minded, easy to train creatures of habit like my human. I already have them stalking her in the kitchen and tackling her if she does not comply.
  6. Mom works, I get nappy time 🙂
  7. Lunch time = more snacks for moi. Carrots and oh, I don’t know, maybe nibbles of what ever you are eating. A chica’s work is never done. She did say she wanted to lose a couple of pounds 😉 didn’t she?
  8. More cafe, more lap time. Mom needs to learn to pace herself. (Please allow a 1/2 hour minimum)
  9. OK, back to work, but first I need to be tenderly propped on my sidekick-ottoman next to her computer chair and appropriately wrapped in my fluffy blanket. From there I conduct my eyes-closed “surveillance” duty, policing any movement along the casa. It is part of my Jedi Chica training. No questions, ask you may.
  10. Catos usually get a little pesky sometime around mid-afternoon, so Mom must let them back out to the lanai for more “hunting” practice (like the lizards don’t have it figured out by now). Silly cats. But we all get some fresh air. Que nice.
  11. More work, with regular petting of my belly. But by 5:30pm, my belly is too stimulated and starts to demand more attention. Is it dinner time? No? Well, I disagree. Please serve.
  12. 5:45, Dad gets home. But he may not realize I have already eaten. (Bwahahaha!!! Insert villainous laugh here too.)
  13. Around 6:30 I give them a break so they can eat. But I always offer to help “clean up” 😉
  14. Walk time!!!!! Much more on that to come, but suffice it to say that there are always treats after I “do” what I am supposed to “do” outside like a good Chica.
  15. 7:30pm, humans getting old now, will settle for DVR shows and a quiet evening =  unlimited lap time until I get carried off to bed.

Not a bad day’s work is it? Let me know if you need any tips on human conditioning training. Always glad to help my amigos.

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Hola, my Chihuahua amigos!

April 25, 2014 § 2 Comments


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Chanel, la Chica, has mucho to say

Yes, as I am sure you will agree, I think it is high time that I am back! My Mom has been muy busy with her design business, pero I think I must now put my delicate paw down and demand some attention, for the sake of my devoted fans, that is. I’d be too demure and humble to insist just for myself 😉

Where to begin?! It has been a long time, so rather than overwhelm you with my cuentos of woe, let me just say I am now living with three (Dios mio, yes 3!!) cato brothers: El viejo Tigger, my returned instrument of torture, Fernando, and the new fiend extraordinaire, Francisco. As you can imagine, nobody asked the Chica. And I am somewhat convinced that my Mom has finally lost her last marble. But what can a little Chica like me do? … Familia therapy, mijitos!

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El viejo Tigger

El Loco, Fernando

El Loco, Fernando

Francisco

Francisco (the jury is still out on this one, but I am thinking he was dropped on his head as a kitty)

So as part of my, er I mean, our therapy, I am making Madre keep up with this blog again. It is the least she can do to make up for the insulto (… tres gatos …estara loca esta mujer … que @!&^#$*!)  Wait, no, back to my happy place, back to my happy place – AyyyyyyOmmmmm!

Bueno, that is all for now. More to come later after my pedicure (another atonement effort)! Hola and adios, amigos!

 

 

Mama says the Chihuahua is a little “pushy”? I don’t beg, but I do differ!!

February 21, 2012 § 5 Comments


Chanel the ChihuahuaWisdom Diva "talks"Moi? Oh, no-no-no, Chica! “Assertive” or maybe “naturally confident” would be a fairer description. If you check my contract (ahem, again), you’ll see my “entitlements” clearly listed – Princess in residence will have her way. But let’s be reasonable. Think of it. This little noggin can only hold sooooo much greatness. I must express my amazing mind. It is never good to staunch the gift of a creative genius or hold one’s feelings inside. (Isn’t that the point of this blog?)

So, Mama, don’t judge. Simply accept the little gift that is ME. To make it easier for you to understand my “terms,” let us review un poco:

  • one short loud bark = “Hello?!?!?! Pay attention, please.”
  • whine, whine = “Walk time, NOW!”
  • whine, bark = “Treat? Or to be more precise: TREAT!!”
  • yip, yip, stamping of feet = “Sit down, woman. It is lap time.”
  • snort, snort, hrmph = “OK, OK. The Cato can sit on your lap too.”
  • whine, whine, grrrrrrrrrrrr… = “Time for bed already, chica. Let’s go!”
  • whine, whine, push push = “I’m going under the blanket NOW so move over.”

You see? I DO make myself quite clear, Mama. You listen, life is peachy. I am not pushy, I am a Chihuahua — short, sweet and to the point!

It’s getting a little too close ’round here for chihuahua comfort

February 15, 2012 § Leave a comment


Between the Christmas iPad and Mom’s new gift subscription to a certain dog magazine, I’m losing more and more precious lap time. And let me clarify, oh dear Mama, I don’t want just a little bit of space and time on your lap. This Chica, (nay, your Princess!!) is entitled to much more!

It is distressing enough to hear you call the iPad “your baby.” (Yes, I heard you!! And we’ll talk about that another time. Hrmph!) And I realize that el Cato was here before the Chica came in to complete your universe so I must share with him. But seriously, we are reaching critical mass here!

I know I’m small, but the Mama must admit that she is not all that tall herself. Not to get ugly, let’s just say the kids got their long limbs from Dad. So we are talking precious real estate.

So these new intrusions, fascinating as they may be to you, are seriously disturbing the carefully designed and balanced ecosystem we had going here for me. Let me explain:

Mama’s lap = My belly, all nice and warm = One content chihuahua = A happy and relaxed Mama

You see? It is like the circle of life (cue the Disney soundtrack with the deep Lion King drums rumbling their thundering proclamation that all of nature is in balance.) And admit it, there is no more perfect confirmation that the world is as it should be than one of my luxurious stretches after a long lap nap — when I reach out in all directions with my toes, yawn as wide as my jaw will allow, and then turn my head up to look at you and sigh in absolute contentment. It IS what makes the world go round.

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So stop crowding me out, Mama. The lap is mine! ‘nough said!!

This Chihuahua is getting in line for a canine massage

February 4, 2012 § 1 Comment


Chanel the chuhuahua is full of chihuahua wisdomI have found love: Spartacus Brownie Von Lickety Jones Jr.

OK, so I have been in love before. I am admittedly a little A.D.D. And to complicate matters I am a diva princess and just entitled to mood swings. It is in the fine print. But seriously, Señor Spartacus has captured my heart with his poetic letter to his Mama. From the very start, I knew we were kindred spirits. Read for yourselves:

“Dear Mom,

You think it’s easy dozing most of the day, begging for biscuits, nipping at your heels, and barking at squirrels?

Okay, it is …”

The simple joy in his expressions. The careless tone of his truths. The fluidly woven tale, leading his Mama and the reader right to the point: GET IT, WANT IT NOW!!  Need I say more? Well, whether or not I need to, I will. Simply to point out to all my chicos and one specific Mama that we must look into this recommendation of his on the dailycandy.com:

Buddha Dog’s Canine Masseuse Shows Us the Proper Technique

Ahh … the kneading … the skin rolling … stretching my little legs … in between my toes … just so, behind and to the tips of my bat ears … ahhhhhhhhhhhh ….

Dog Massage video clip on DailyCandy.com

OMG, la Chica is melting at the thought. Mama, get busy learning these techniques. If I can’t get to Cali anytime soon, I WANT THIS ANYWAY. Apparently these are also good for the human doing the dog massaging. Not that it would be a requirement, but I am into bonuses 😉 and I’m always looking out for your well-being.

And as for you, my Romeo-Sparticus, ‘Til we meet someday …”

Feliz New Year, Amigos!!

December 31, 2011 § 1 Comment


Happy New Year, my dear amigos. It has been a great year of change at Casa Chanel: Kids are both off to college; Empty nest adjustments with cleaning out, furniture rearrangements and simplifying things for us all; Mama and her partner, Aunt Tracey, started a new company that is sure to skyrocket in the coming year and impact lots of kids; Dad got new glasses with progressive-lenses so we are all staying out from underfoot (his foot!) at least; and we got some gizmo called a “blueray” (does that go well with tortillas?) that gets “wifi” (that sounds like it tickles) so the peeps are enjoying more movies at home and quality time together (with extra lap time for la Chica. Viva el blueray!)

Here’s hoping 2012 is a year full of hope, love and happiness for all of you. And to get us started on the right paw, I will make some resolutions/predictions:

  1. More walks and exercise better be in my future (ahem … oh, Mama!!!!!!) The Chica’s waistline will not improve on good intentions and baby carrots alone.
  2. More “public appearances” for the Chica. My fans here in the neighborhood are under control (scary grrrrrrrs, I’m watching you!) and I’m ready for fame and fortune. Maybe we’ll make it to Bark World this year! WooHoo!!
  3. More giving back. No, I don’t mean the obvious! I mean getting involved and helping those in need. I’ll be looking for some causes. Suggestions are welcome, amigos.
  4. More blog posts from la Chica (ahem … oh, Mama!!!!!!) We all understood the “dark period” while Mama was muy busy working on her book and educational products, but the world also needs a steady dose of Chihuahua Wisdom to continue to evolve.

And now for a nice siesta, err, I mean, some deep reflection 😉

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Mucho love and keeeeesses to my familia and amigos. And Cin-Cin!!

A Christmas flea visits the Chihuahua

December 23, 2011 § Leave a comment


I don’t remember putting this on my Christmas list but it appears I’ve gotten a little early “present” for the holiday. Apparently the unseasonably warn weather here in Florida has inspired some fresh flea to hitch a ride on la Chica. Guess it read the blog and was trying to crash the party at Casa Chanel. And who can blame the opportunistic flea when mama is making the Noche Buena feast – Cuban pork, rice and frijoles negros, platanos maduros and a great big loaf of fluffy Cuban bread!! And our Christmas tree is smelling good and looking all shiny and sparkly. And our peeps are almost all home for the big Holiday!

But, ay Caramba, Amigos! The scratchies are not muy nice. This pulga is driving me crazy, and I in turn am keeping my peeps awake at night. It is a fast little bugger traveling rapido all over my back, making me twist and turn like a pretzel trying to bite it off. This princesa is NOT used to this impertinent intrusion and the undignified scratching behavior won’t do when it is time to put on my Christmas fine threads! As you can all imagine, it has been a little tough this week:

So on the 5th Day of Christmas my true loving Mama gave to meeeeeeee

… a warm bath in doggy oatmeal shampooooooo …

On the 4th day of Christmas my true loving familia gave to meeeeeeee

… a big smile when we thought the bug was goneeeeee …

On the 3rd day of Christmas la Chica gave to themmmmmmm

… another sleepless night when the pulga came backkkkkkk …

Now on the 2nd day of Christmas my true loving Mama will give to meeeeeeee

… another dunk (with essential oils added) and a “Better NOT see you later Señor fleaaaaaaaaaa!!!”

On the last day of Christmas my Girl will be saying to meeeeeeee

… “I’m home!!” to scratch your belly so there better be no fleaaaaaaaaaaaa!

So Rudolph, this year YOU better watch out. Since Señor Flea is getting his final eviction notice today, I’m leaving a little something for you to take back to the North Pole – a hitch hiking flea who messed with the wrong chica!

All pooped out from a sleepless night of scratching

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