Happy Father’s Day, to my Papi

June 16, 2012 § 3 Comments


Father's Day tie for a chihuahua's daddyTo the guy who:
Keeps my belly scratches going until mom gets home.

Sneaks me tidbits when he is carving that yummilicious rotisserie chicken.

Lifts me up onto the couch (and eventually his lap) when I give him that pitiful look and no one is watching.

Puts up with me walking all over the bed (and him) in the middle of the night looking for a warm and cozy spot to snuggle into.

I tried to find the perfect gift for the perfect Daddy. I dragged Mama out, far and wide. You know how picky I can be. But alas, nothing seemed to capture just how I feel about you. Nothing would do.

So I enlisted Mama’s help to make you something truly ESPECIAL for you. I picked your (OK one of my favorite) colors. I packed a lot of love into every stitch and bedazzle. Mucho bling for my Papi!

I hope you like it. Now you can be a real knight in “shinning” armor for all to see. And I hope you know how much I love you.

Muchos kisses,

Your little Chica

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What’s a Chica got to do …

June 2, 2012 § 2 Comments


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So by now, as in most households suffering from the condition, the empty nest syndrome has been alleviated at casa Chanel. Joy, oh joy, for sure! I was quite loca when my kids came home. First Ryan early in May, with some fabulous back scratching abilities to make up for his absence. He must have taken some new college course in the art of pleasing the Chihuahua, because I am in la-la-heaven. Then Dani, in mid May, always great at lounging and catching up on this season’s TV series which she’d missed during the crazy school/dance schedule. She needs her rest, and I need my long lazy hours of cuddling with her in bed.

But then, way too soon my princess bubble burst. First the familia left me, with some very nice Chica sitters, I must acknowledge, while they all went on a fabulous Western Caribbean cruise. Alright, I admit the necessary quarantine period to join them on the voyage would nave been out of the question for this princess. Pero, DANG!!! They even went to the motherland – Mejico! AND, they were gone for a whole week and didn’t even bring me back one stinkin’ frijol! Que pasa, chicos?

And now they are back, nice and tan, enjoying the summer and spending time with the college kids while many of my walks are falling by the wayside. HELLOOOOOO! I no theeeeek so, mis amigos. I WILL be making myself quite clear. You just wait for announcements on the 6 o’clock newscasts. I must remind them that La Chica is number one ALL the time, not just when we are lonely and missing the kids.

What’s a Chica got to do to get some respect around here.

Spring grooming tips for (from) the Chihuahua

April 29, 2012 § 2 Comments


Ahhh, to spoil the spoiled. That is what life should be about. There is way too much human time spent on work, chores and errands, if you ask me. A better and much more enjoyable spring “cleaning” day in dog-topia would look something like this:

1. Open eyes, pet the Chihuahua’s belly. Gently please, she has just woken up.
2. Rise (only after the Chihuahua cuddle and love morning session has been satisfied) stretch and go prepare a scrumptious breakfast with a side of Cheerios for the Princess. Yes, you are allowed to make your cafecito at this time as well. This promises to be a long day.
3. Short nap. As my Abuela always said, one must wait 20 minutes after eating before going in the water. You run the risk of having a “pa-ta-tu” and dropping dead on the spot. Cuidado, chicos!
4. You might as well take the Princess for an early walk so she won’t get all dirty after her nice bubble bath. Treat should follow as per usual.
5. Run said nice warm bubble bath. Mama always puts a drop of lavender essential oil in mine to soothe the nerves. Gently lower the less than cooperative Chihuahua into the water. She’ll likely (eventually) acquiesce.
6. Have fluffy plush towel ready (preferably warmed in the drier) for when the shivering drippy Chihuahua gets out of the tub (ah, ok, sink).
7. Thoroughly knead the Chica’s fur to a perfect fluff, removing excess water. He/she will still shake, rattle and roll and get you all wet (a little payback is to be expected), but will dry quicker with a little help.
8. Many soothing compliments and a treat for the Precious are in order.
9. Though this part might require a sedative, a trip to the groomer for nail clipping, quickly followed by many more treats to help the Chihuahua forget the traumatic experience, will complete the spring cleaning effort. I would not recommend teeth cleaning at this juncture. You’d be doing so at your own risk.
10. Much praise and love should be showered (figuratively, please) on the “nice, clean, pretty girl.”

Please understand the lack of cooperation in picture taking sessions. Good luck and may the Fuerza be with you!

Chihuahua skips a beat

April 25, 2012 § 1 Comment


Well it had to happen. I don’t know if this had anything to do with the doomsday 2012 predictions of the Mayan Calendar. Maybe this is what they were referring to as the “end of the world.” But finally (dramatic pause … ), the Chica – your reason to log onto the internet, the light of your life, the spring in your step, your icon of all that is beautiful and desirable – has had her “less than photogenic” day. And of course, the paparazzi (Mama) was there to capture the inglorious moment. So go ahead, have your giggle:

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You done yet? Go ahead. Enjoy the moment.

Hey, it keeps me humble. Balances the chi, the spiritual laws of fairness, and the karma. God knows I don’t want to come back any smaller next time in the food chain! From Cleopatra to Chihuahua, precious though I might be, I think I have some stuff to work out with the universe while I’m here.

And who knows. I’ve heard say that we “learn” from every experience in our lives. That everything is as intended and for our ultimate growth and greater good. So I’m going with that. After all, I am still making you smile today. It IS all good.

Chihuahua Contributions to Nature (rated G)

March 15, 2012 § Leave a comment


No, my Mama has not lost her senses (not entirely) with that headline. Even she will admit not everything I do on our afternoon walks is adorable. But this little contribution on my part to help the birds and the bees in their spring effort is worth sharing here.

As you all know, we have had an unusual spring season, even for Florida. More of a Wintring. And the confused oak trees are pollinating early and como loco ’round the hood. I assure you, with my height “advantage” I’m the perfect authority to report on the phenomenon. There are record HEAPS of pollen collecting on the ground. Weeeeee! (runs around and breaks into song: “The street gutters are aliveeeeeee, with the mounds of pohhhhh-llennnnnn … La, la, la laaaaaa!”)

But while I’m having fun frolicking through the fluffy yellow mess, it’s not so much fun for my poor human. Let’s just say those are not just doggy ____ bags in Mama’s pocket when we go out these days. (Insider trade tip: Buy stock in Kleenex and/or Puff tissues!!) Muchos tissues EVERYWHERE for Mama. She is a sneezing menace when we take our walks. No matter what expert stealth techniques I try to use, and I have many, I can’t even sneak up on a stupid squirrel – they hear us coming a mile away.

As for La Chica, no adverse allergy effects to report. The pollen and the sneezing just seems to make me giddy. So here is a little film clip to cheer Mama and all the allergy sufferers out there. I like to title it: Viva la Spring Loca! (Subtitle: Spreading the love and the pollen all over tha’ place and the couch. Ole!)

Pollen giddy Chihuahua

Chihuahua temptations threaten

February 8, 2012 § Leave a comment


What would you do? I am just soooooooo tempted sometimes! Are these tests in my life meant to break my resolve to be a good girl? Because Mama always tells me to “be good” right before she leaves for work. And I do have the best of intentions. But, ay caramba, there is only so much willpower packed into a little Chica!

First there is Dad, who has been slipping lately, even after Mama warned him about closing the drawer to his nightstand. You see, that is where he keeps his earplugs. They look a lot like my little carrots. And well, let’s just say I’ve been known to snarf those puppies right up. No questions asked.

Pops is also a little careless leaving the TV trays ever so close to my couch, especially when he comes home for a quick lunch and then has to rush off. I know I’m not supposed to climb onto the tables. Mama explained that quite clearly (in Spanish and English) the last time Dad left the chair pulled out from the dining room table after a big dinner with friends. Imagine my surprise when Mama came back into the room to get her drink. Ooops! Can you say, “stop, drop and freeze” and turn on the bambi eyes RIGHT away?!?

Oh and the best one came just the other day, when Mama herself left the pantry door just slightly open. Wh-wha-what?!?! The Cheerios box is within reach on the lower shelf. Are you crazy woman?!?! I may look dainty and delicate, but I assure you I could shred that big yellow box like a piƱata in two seconds flat!!

I’m starting to get paranoid thinking she’s got some hidden camera just waiting to catch me. Pray for me, Chicos! The “higher ground” is a lofty goal for a short Chihuahua.

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The Chihuahua wonders never cease

January 31, 2012 § 1 Comment


Mama often wonders, “if a Cheerio falls in the forest, will the Chihuahua hear it.” Of course I know this because as I’ve explained, I can read her mind.

Oh, my dear Mama, the answer is quite simple, really, even for human comprehension. Of course I do with my keen ultrasonic hearing, the latest and greatest in technology provided by nature. Move over, sharkies, there is a new highly developed, exceptionally equipped and capable species on this planet, and I’m here to stay!

It is with that same technology that I know if an intruder even thinks of coming close to Casa Chanel uninvited. Not one cucaracha dare defy me!

It is how I know when and where every food particle lands in my territory (kitchen.) That coupled with my keen olfactory talents and my better-than-any-overblown-elephant’s memory is why I always know when there is a runaway Cheerio under the couch.

But more importantly, my amazing hearing is how I can detect the slightest disruption the very second your heart skips a beat because you are sad and missing the kids. After all, that is my ultimate purpose in life, to be here for you when you need love, always.

Now don’t argue! I know you may not remember, but you will move the couch because I am never wrong about my Cheerios. And I am also always hungry!

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