Re-training Mom

As I mentioned, Mom is now freelancing full-time as a graphic artist and web designer. But after years of trying to balance both a job and all the side stuff, she is really having to work at adjust to this new lifestyle. Don’t tell anyone, but she does a lot of walking around talking to herself and asking things like “what was I going to do next?” and “where did I leave my phone?” She is, como se dice, discombobulated. Look it up. I just added her picture on Wikipedia for clarification. But don’t tell her that either.

So ultra perceptive Chica that I am, I figured this was a great opportunity to turn into MY opportunity. You see, Mom has been muy busy for a couple of years trying to build up her business. And well, I don’t feel I have been appropriately pampered in the meantime. Mucho work = muy poco time for the Chica. Ah, it seems like ages, but I still remember the days of pretty dresses and fashion shows, public outings where I signed autographs and visited with my fans. Oh, and the treats! The treats that came so easily just for pure cuteness. I never had to jump through so many hoops, stare so intensely and incessantly at her noggin to get through to her, or come up with ever more clever ways to get a certain distracted someone’s attention as I’ve had to these past year and a half.

But, Chicos, it is a new day, isn’t it. (Bwahahaha!!! Insert villainous laugh here.) And here is how I see it going, de aqui pa’lante:

1. Open eyes = rub my tummy and tell me what a precious princess I am. (Please allow a 1/2 hour minimum)
2. Get up, (yes, you may grab your slippers if you must) then carry me to the kitchen to serve me breakfast first.
3. Cafe, no doubt, but go ahead and start getting my Cheerios ready while you wait. You know I need my fiber to maintain este cuerpo.
4. Lanai time to commune with nature. I get the lap to oversee the operations; cats get the lizards. (Please allow a 1/2 hour minimum)
5. Dishes, email, blah-blah-blah … then mid-morning snack! I can get the catos to help with this one. They are simple-minded, easy to train creatures of habit like my human. I already have them stalking her in the kitchen and tackling her if she does not comply.
6. Mom works, I get nappy time 🙂
7. Lunch time = more snacks for moi. Carrots and oh, I don’t know, maybe nibbles of what ever you are eating. A chica’s work is never done. She did say she wanted to lose a couple of pounds 😉 didn’t she?
8. More cafe, more lap time. Mom needs to learn to pace herself. (Please allow a 1/2 hour minimum)
9. OK, back to work, but first I need to be tenderly propped on my sidekick-ottoman next to her computer chair and appropriately wrapped in my fluffy blanket. From there I conduct my eyes-closed “surveillance” duty, policing any movement along the casa. It is part of my Jedi Chica training. No questions, ask you may.
10. Catos usually get a little pesky sometime around mid-afternoon, so Mom must let them back out to the lanai for more “hunting” practice (like the lizards don’t have it figured out by now). Silly cats. But we all get some fresh air. Que nice.
11. More work, with regular petting of my belly. But by 5:30pm, my belly is too stimulated and starts to demand more attention. Is it dinner time? No? Well, I disagree. Please serve.
12. 5:45, Dad gets home. But he may not realize I have already eaten. (Bwahahaha!!! Insert villainous laugh here too.)
13. Around 6:30 I give them a break so they can eat. But I always offer to help “clean up” 😉
14. Walk time!!!!! Much more on that to come, but suffice it to say that there are always treats after I “do” what I am supposed to “do” outside like a good Chica.
15. 7:30pm, humans getting old now, will settle for DVR shows and a quiet evening =  unlimited lap time until I get carried off to bed.

Not a bad day’s work is it? Let me know if you need any tips on human conditioning training. Always glad to help my amigos.

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It’s getting a little too close ’round here for chihuahua comfort

Between the Christmas iPad and Mom’s new gift subscription to a certain dog magazine, I’m losing more and more precious lap time. And let me clarify, oh dear Mama, I don’t want just a little bit of space and time on your lap. This Chica, (nay, your Princess!!) is entitled to much more!

It is distressing enough to hear you call the iPad “your baby.” (Yes, I heard you!! And we’ll talk about that another time. Hrmph!) And I realize that el Cato was here before the Chica came in to complete your universe so I must share with him. But seriously, we are reaching critical mass here!

I know I’m small, but the Mama must admit that she is not all that tall herself. Not to get ugly, let’s just say the kids got their long limbs from Dad. So we are talking precious real estate.

So these new intrusions, fascinating as they may be to you, are seriously disturbing the carefully designed and balanced ecosystem we had going here for me. Let me explain:

Mama’s lap = My belly, all nice and warm = One content chihuahua = A happy and relaxed Mama

You see? It is like the circle of life (cue the Disney soundtrack with the deep Lion King drums rumbling their thundering proclamation that all of nature is in balance.) And admit it, there is no more perfect confirmation that the world is as it should be than one of my luxurious stretches after a long lap nap — when I reach out in all directions with my toes, yawn as wide as my jaw will allow, and then turn my head up to look at you and sigh in absolute contentment. It IS what makes the world go round.

So stop crowding me out, Mama. The lap is mine! ‘nough said!!

Happy Cuatro (fourth) of July!

My familia is muy proud to be celebrating this Quatro here in our adoptive country. Mama is first generation Cuban-American, and I’d guess I’m about 20th generation Chica American (who can keep track of my family tree?!?!)

But on this ultimate American holiday weekend, as we remember the some of the great leaders that helped make ours the best nation in the world, let us not forget the little guys that lent a helping paw in the effort. Let us remember that many of our founding fathers and illustrious presidents had great companions that served them faithfully as confidants and advisors. And no, I’m not talking about their first ladies!!

As shown on the PoodleAndDogBlog.typepad.com

Washington had Taster, Tipler, Forester, Vulcan, Madame Moose, Searcher and Sweet Lips. Jefferson had his Buzzy. Lincoln had his Fido and Roosevelt had Pete, Skip, Jack and Peter among many. And I’m just getting started with that long list of admirable quadrupeds. The AKC and DogNames.org, and Wikipedia have cool lists of presidential pets, sure to make you proud. Oh, and ahem, please note that there were not too many catos in the WH inner circle ;p I’m just saying …

So during this celebration of our great country’s birth, I propose we do a little “updating” of some of America’s monuments to reflect our appreciation of these quiet, lesser-known servants of liberty. No disrespect intended, but I’ve taken the initiative (liberty) of putting together some sketches below. Keep in mind these suggestions are merely meant to be symbolic of all great dogs. After all, I cannot take credit for all that makes our fabulous country rock! But I do believe a Chihuahua would be an excellent emblem of fierce loyalty and bravery.

Picture La Chica, as an American treasure

Imagine La Chica, as an American monument

Admire La Chica, as a beacon of freedom

Happy Cuatro of July, Amigos! Let us appreciate how fortunate we are as we celebrate this great nation and the freedoms it stands for. Let’s live it up … now pass the ketchup!!

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P.S. And Happy Saturday Pet Blog Hopping!