It’s getting a little too close ’round here for chihuahua comfort

Between the Christmas iPad and Mom’s new gift subscription to a certain dog magazine, I’m losing more and more precious lap time. And let me clarify, oh dear Mama, I don’t want just a little bit of space and time on your lap. This Chica, (nay, your Princess!!) is entitled to much more!

It is distressing enough to hear you call the iPad “your baby.” (Yes, I heard you!! And we’ll talk about that another time. Hrmph!) And I realize that el Cato was here before the Chica came in to complete your universe so I must share with him. But seriously, we are reaching critical mass here!

I know I’m small, but the Mama must admit that she is not all that tall herself. Not to get ugly, let’s just say the kids got their long limbs from Dad. So we are talking precious real estate.

So these new intrusions, fascinating as they may be to you, are seriously disturbing the carefully designed and balanced ecosystem we had going here for me. Let me explain:

Mama’s lap = My belly, all nice and warm = One content chihuahua = A happy and relaxed Mama

You see? It is like the circle of life (cue the Disney soundtrack with the deep Lion King drums rumbling their thundering proclamation that all of nature is in balance.) And admit it, there is no more perfect confirmation that the world is as it should be than one of my luxurious stretches after a long lap nap — when I reach out in all directions with my toes, yawn as wide as my jaw will allow, and then turn my head up to look at you and sigh in absolute contentment. It IS what makes the world go round.

So stop crowding me out, Mama. The lap is mine! ‘nough said!!