The Chihuahua questions the quirks of fate

April 7, 2011 § Leave a comment


Cranky Chihuahua Exhibit A - Yesterday's meeting with Guinness the lab

Mama says I’m kinda cranky. She has actually accused me of being anti-social. I say, nay! I only feel the urge to bark annoyingly at bigger … I mean taller dogs. Those show-offs who like to lumber about and outpace me when they walk around MY neighborhood. I’m very outgoing, friendly and curious with fellow petites. But I don’t like to upset Mama or let her down. So I thought I’d dig deep into my psyche (though I realize this could take quite a while considering the enormity of my intellect) and honestly examine my seemingly fickle motivations.

Is my height a funny joke by the masters of fate. Was I intended to be as mighty as a lion? As noble a beast as a horse? Or as fearsome and awe-inspiring as a bear? Well, I certainly feel that way! Don’t get me wrong. I know and appreciate that I AM a perfect, if diminutive work of art. A marvel of precision and efficiency in machinery. A wonder of high technology.

But then I thought … could it be that I am really resentful about my “shortcomings”? Eeeeek, could I actually be feeling threatened? Am I just insecure and a bit jealous of other canines who might be trying to catch my Mama’s eye?

But no, Chicos! It isn’t like that!! I INSIST I am a champion of justice – descendant from a long line of fierce royal guard dogs. Like my forefathers, I am merely accustomed to the proper homage that my familia has been receiving since the time of the mighty Mayans. For goodness sake, Chicos! We guarded kings and queens of incredible civilizations, patrolled the inexplicable New World pyramids! Those catos and jackals once revered in Egypt’s pyramids toooootally lost their cool with the end of the pharaohs, while we remained members of royal families around the world for centuries to come. Chihuahuas are just looking for some modern-day respect.

Once I get a little respect, we all understand each other

Mama, to you I say, I am just misunderstood. I am simply proud and in charge! And any inconsistencies in my behavior are to remind others of my honorary stature. And because I like to keep all my peeps guessing – it adds to the mystery that is me and the effectiveness of my surveillance techniques.

So take any complaints to the BIG Guy upstairs. He knew what he was doing when he made me 😉

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