Chihuahua move: the hovercraft

January 21, 2011 § 2 Comments

Look Ma! No hands!!

Overhead demonstration

Mama calls this the “hovercraft.” I think we have established that she’s a bit of a sci-fi fan. But play along with us. I call it the “nice and toasty belly for me!”

To achieve this optimum state of bliss, I jump up on Mama’s lap, and paw and claw away any wrinkles on whatever she is wearing for maximum comfort. Then I circle two or three times over the landscape to identify the perfect spot upon which to plop. It is a zen-feng shui thing. Next, I lay down and proceed to tuck in all of my appendages — leg, bat ears and tail (I read somewhere that 50 percent of chihuahua body heat is lost via the ever-wagging tail — an issue we might have to take up with the manufacturer.)

Then, to maximize heat-generation, I tuck my nose in a little too. Nice even breathing exhausts produce a gentle, steady, steamy warmth. Last, I the settle into a meditative state — snoring is allowed — and ponder upon the great mysteries of life.

Aside from the obvious benefits, I believe this “hovercrafting” is very aerodynamic, leaves a very small footprint on the environment, and like the great pyramids af Egypt, this assures me an optimal tipping-resistant position to rival any opposing force of physics. Trust me, this IS proven to resist Mama’s repeated attempts at shaking me off with weak claims at “Mama has to go to work” or “Mama needs to move her legs.” HA!

The “hovercraft” move is of course not to be confused with the regal “La Sphinx!” Separate demo on this to follow.

"La Sphinx"

The “hovercraft” move is of course not to be confused with the regal “La Sphinx!” Separate demo on this to follow.


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